I love my mom so much

My mom was diagnosed with ALS in 2008 at age 52. Her and my dad were married for 35 years when she passed away. She died on August 30, 2011 at the age of 55. I was 14 then, and now I am 15. My dad was her caregiver the whole time. I feel like I could of done more and spent more time with her while she was sick and dying. I sometimes feel like she didn't know how much I loved her because I didn't always show it. She was always there for me when I needed her and it feels like when she needed me the most I wasn't there. I regret that everyday and I always think about her. I don't really know how to cope with the fact that I let her down. When she was sick, her and I didn't talk about it much. She always used to tell me that she was always proud of me no matter what and that when I was happy she was happy. She was the most wonderful person I've ever met and I feel so lucky to have had such an amazing person in my life. Now I'm not happy at all, or even content. I don't really know how to deal with anything anymore because of the fact that I let her down. I'm afraid that she died thinking that I didn't love her or want to spend time with her.

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Jun 11, 2012
I also lost my mum in Aug 11 to MND
by: Sarah

I have been moved to tears reading this post and comment. I am 31 years old and a only child. I lost my wonderful brave mum in August 2011 also. My mum also died of MND. I am obviously a lot older than you and i cannot imagine how much you are struggling with losing your mother at such a important time of your life as you enter adulthood. I have suffered everyday since i lost my mum an i was 30 then. She was my best friend and i adored her and always will. I am unable to have children of my own which is heartbreaking but i have strong maternal instinct and i am so sure our mums knew how much we loved them and how much we struggled with accepting they were dying as all we wanted was them to stay with us. I too entered into denial and have regret about my mums final mths as i was not as patient as should of been and i should of said so much more...i only hope and pray that these words can be said in heaven when we reunite. My heart goes out to the OP and also to Ruth. How heartbreaking the death of a loved one truly is. God bless all xxx

Apr 28, 2012
by: Ruth M

I am so moved by what you have written. I am 51 years old and I just lost my only child who was 26 years old 2 years ago. It broke my heart to read how you are feeling. Listen I was a Mom for a very long time. Mom's understand their children and also understand and know what it is like to be 14. We know that our children love us and know that it is difficult for young people to deal with heavy issues. She probably knew how you were feeling better than you even knew. I am sure she loves and understands the whole situation and knows how much you love her. Even now as she lives on in a different plain than us, I bet she knows even better than before how much you love her. Love is the only thing that lasts forever and it is the strongest force in the world and beyond. Nothing breaks the bond between mother and child, not even death. You will be in my prayers daily for comfort for your heart, soul and mind. Take care dear.

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