I Love You Jason.
June 1st, 2011, Was the last time I would kiss my boyfriend of 5 years, Jason. Jason and his good friend had been saving up and working double overtime to go on a Bear Hunting trip in Idaho. Jason was so excited. He bought a new Bow and a new Nikon camera. June 3rd, 2011, was the night that my world was flipped upside down. Around midnight, Jasons friend called and said that they had gotten into an accident, in Great Falls Montana (only a few hours away from their hunting destination). I asked, "Where's Jason???". A drunk driver had rear ended their pickup truck while they where stopped at a stoplight, they hit them going in speeds excess of 75mph. Jason, was thrown through the windshield of the truck. Then the truck rolled twice. Jason was okay, though it seemed. I got to talk to him while he was at the hospital before they took him into surgery. Jason's LAST words to me where, "I love you so much baby, dont worry, i'll survive." The next day, myself and Jasons siblings were preparing to fly out to Montana from WI. Thats when the doctor called me and told me, He had died. My heart broke. I fell down the stairs crying. I cannot believe this. Not one bit. After seeing Jason in his Casket, I knew then, I would never be the same again. I started journaling. Writing all of my random/blank thoughts down. Nothing helps though. The pain is so so so intense. I lost my father unexpectedly in 2008, but this sorrow is much different. I think its because as a child, you at some point expect your parents to die. But this, Jason, whom would have been 24 on July 21st, 2011, is just too much. I question my faith everyday. I wonder every minute, WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO HIM?? And at this point, I dont feel the need to go on to be honest. I feel like there is no one that will EVER compare to Jason. How will I be able to find love ever again? What Jason and I had was so intense and so real. Jason was just an honest and down to earth man. I just really dont know.