I miss her more than I can explain

by Stephanie
(England, UK)

I miss my grandmother. She was taken away from us almost 8years ago. It still hurts incredibly. She was the best thing that happened to me and it hurts my heart that I only got to spend 13 years with her. It feels like 13 days looking back on it.

It's unfair that such a beautiful woman had to die in the way that she did. Nothing's the same. It never will be. I could sit here all night expressing how much I love and miss her but it still wouldn't do. I just feel like I'll never recover from it. I feel like she was brutally snatched from us. She was ill for quite a while but toward the end of her heart failure it became agonizing to watch. I would go to the hospital everyday after school and sit with her.
I long to be with her again. She meant the world to me and more.
I feel like I'll never know how to deal with this, I'll never be able to think of her without crying. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to live without her. It still hasn't sunk in.
Sometimes I sit and think about what she'd look like now & the conversations we'd have. She's missed so much. I sometimes can't help but feel guilty for missing her because she was so ill, she had to go onto a better place.
I've had 2 different types of counseling in a hope that I'll be able to focus on the dear memories I have of her but none of them were successful.
My heart yearns for her. She was my number 1. Every tear I cry is for her and has been ever since she died. I love her more than life itself and it breaks my spirit in two, to think about the fact that I'll never see her again.

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Sep 23, 2014
I miss her more than I can explain.
by: Doreen UK

Stephanie It is human nature to want more time with our loved one's especially when they impacted our lives in such a strong way. But to have had 13yrs. with your grandmother is more than many of us have.
It is not selfish to want more time with our loved one's. It is human to need and want this in our lives because God set it up this way so that we are in relationship and this is how we function.
Sadly you tried 2 different types of counselling and they didn't work. You can go on to find another counsellor until you do find what works. If you get the right person and you don't resist any directives in counselling then it should work and you should be in some recovery.
Often if we lose our FOCUS and find ourselves locked in to a mind set it can be resistant to counselling. You can do much to help yourself by how you think and how you FOCUS.
If I was feeling down in any way I wouldn't put on sad music or do anything to make that moment stay. I would try to anything to get out of the place I was in and dragging me down. But sometimes some people don't know how to change their way of thinking and this is where counselling does work in helping one to change their thought patterns.
Some storms we have to ride out. Take one day at a time. It is the best way forward. I am sorry for your loss.

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