i miss her so badly

My grandma passed away last year and I still cannot accept she's gone. She was really ill in hospital but she'd been admitted many times before and pulled through she was a fighter but this time she didn't win this fight illness had beat her. I remember finding out about her death I was numb and carried on with daily routine like going to school but I remember people passing on sympathy at school and when I got home it hit me that she had passed away I remember crying and crying and all I felt was pain and sadness. Her funeral was really emotional too I remember trying to remain strong but my auntie whispered " it's okay to cry" and that was the point were I totally broke down. It's been a year and 3 months since she passed away and the pain hasn't got better and it hasn't gotten any easier. I do get support from my deputy head teacher at school which is really good and does help as I don't feel alone and she actually understands. The last year has been such a struggle as my grief has been very difficult. I ended up being referred to an organisation for counselling which was very difficult but in a way it did help. I think overall it did save me from things getting worse and it helped me manage my feelings more. Even today I still feel pain and grief but I do try so hard to get through this. I just hate the month of December as Christmas is really hard. But the thing I'm doing is getting support. I just miss my grandma so much I just wish she was here.

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Dec 03, 2013
I miss her so badly
by: Doreen UK

I am sorry for your loss of your grandma. I am so glad you have had good counselling support as I know this does work. The experience of counselling is so painful that many people are not able to see it through. BUT. I saw it through and can testify that the healing process does take place and you will in time start to Heal. Healing from grief is such a slow process that we feel as if will be in pain like this forever, and want the pain to go quickly. You are probably coping with grief in a normal way and healing from your loss of your grandma, but this time of the year doesn't help and makes you feel worse. I am feeling this way also after losing my husband to cancer 18 months ago. I also feel worse at times. Often we can regress and move forward and this can feel confusing. You are so young and as you mature you will find your emotions and feelings change with time. The thing to remember is that the pain you feel from your grief will not last forever. It will pass in time and you will recover from grief. We will keep losing people from our life all the time and we just get stronger to cope with it again. The stronger the bond the worse one feels when we lose our loved one. TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. This does help with grief. May God comfort you and give you His Peace.

Dec 02, 2013
Missing Grandma
by: Marge

I know it is very difficult to lose someone you love, especially your Grandmother. I am a Grandmother and I know my grandchildren would miss me very much. They lost their other Grandmother about 3 years ago. I hope you have some wonderful memories of spending time with your Grandma. She must have been very special. I lost my youngest son last year, so I know how painful it is to lose someone you love. I went to counselling, too and it helps, but the void in your life is still there. Try to concentrate on the fun times you had with her. You must be very young, so I hope you can understand what I am trying to say. Take care.

Dec 02, 2013
I miss her so badly
by: Anonymous

you are doing all the right things and I am glad that the support is working for you.it will take time and loss is difficult.It is hard to deal with Christmas and others feeling happy when your heart is broken. I can relate to that as I lost my mum this past summer and like your grandmother she had been ill many times previously and always pulled through so we expect them to keep on doing just that.you are obviously a kind and caring person as only some one like that would care so much.Take care and I wish you all the best.

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