I miss her so much it hurts.

(Jacksonville, FL)

I lost my mother about a month ago and I miss her so much that it hurts. I never realized that you can experience physical pain from an emotional loss. Some days are a little better than others, but for the most part I've been walking around with a gut wrenching feeling in my stomach and a huge hole in my heart. I am very angry because I don't feel like it was her time to go. I feel like there were mistakes made in her care that resulted in her death. She became unable to speak for the last month or so before her death and I feel very cheated that we weren't able to speak to her when she needed us most and when we needed to hear from her the most. Mom's love was always unconditional,and although she was small and frail, her love provided a lot of strength for her children. We could always count on her no matter what. She would always be there for us and in our corner. She would always tell us what we needed to hear even if it wasn't what we wanted to hear, but in the end, she'd always be right. My mother had 1 boy and 2 girls and I was her baby. She loved me so much and she made it very obvious that I was the favorite, sometimes to my embarrassment. She also, without a doubt, loved my brother and sister too, it was just that she and I had more in common and I was the youngest. I miss her so much.

Some days, it seems unbearable that I will never see her again in this life time. Sometimes I feel selfish because I know she is in heaven with a glorified body, so she can see again, walk again, feels no pain, and is with the Lord. It can't get much better than that, so I know she is much better off and would prefer to stay there if she had her druthers, but I can't help wishing that things had gone differently and she was still here.

I know that I will never stop missing her, but I do hope that the pain that I feel from it, and the heaviness that I have in my heart will soon ease up and I can go a day or two without crying because I miss her so much.

Comments for I miss her so much it hurts.

Click here to add your own comments

Dec 17, 2014
I miss my Mum
by: D R

Not a day goes by that i dont miss my Mum. She was like a rock. A lady that held nothing back and always tried tiredlessly to steer me in the right direction.

I never imagined she would pass away so young. So suddenly. Goes to show that death is certain and life isnt.

I havent fully grieved yet. Its been nearly three years. Its hard. At times i feel like i got everything under control and other times i feel ive lost all control of everything.

I havent told anyone this so im hoping by writing here im starting the healing process. Only problem is i dont think i can be healed. My mum was so special. Rip.

ed note: This blog has been transitioned to a great new Forum with private messaging. Please check it out by hitting the "The Grief Club" button on the left. You can even resubmit your post there for fresh advice. Thanks so much!

Dec 16, 2014
I'm a cart without wheels
by: Heena

Its been 8 long mourning years since I lost my beautiful mom my heart aches with pain. I feel like a fish rolling on the ground to get some water to survive. I miss my lucky charm, my life is so empty without her not a night without dropping a tear in her memories passes by when, I sleep in peace. May my parents and all yours rest in peace.. Ameen


ed note: This blog has been transitioned to a great new Forum with private messaging. Please check it out by hitting the "The Grief Club" button on the left. You can even resubmit your post there for fresh advice. Thanks so much!

Dec 16, 2014
Mom Too Great A Loss
by: Coeli

Once again I am up late at night missing my mom. I typed in "I Miss My Mom" and I found YOU. I was surprised YOU all are me. I thought I was alone after my mom, Lucille, passed away June 7, 2014, but I'm part of a club no one wants to be in: children left behind with a void so great from a loss of MOM. I could never put into words what losing my mom (my best friend) felt like until I read my feelings, physical and mental experiences through your writings. I am sorry for what you are going through and always grieve from now on. My mom took my heart with her - void doesn't describe it. No words describe the intense magnitude of grief, nausea, dry heaving, mental incapacity to fully put my mind around her death. I can't stop picking up the phone to call her or start driving to her home just to remember half way there she's gone. I love you mom & hope I can return to journal one day. I Miss You Mama.

ed note: This blog has been transitioned to a great new Forum with private messaging. Please check it out by hitting the "The Grief Club" button on the left. You can even resubmit your post there for fresh advice. Thanks so much!

Nov 27, 2014
by: Anonymous

My mother died on the 6th of June 2014 because she went in for a second heart surgery but she had a heart attack during surgery.
I miss her so much to the point where I can barely breathe sometimes and now I'm constantly afraid of how short life is and how I've already screwed up by smoking..a mother loves their child more than anything in the world and I know that any mother would be incredibly proud of their kid for making it through a loss that big.
ed note: This blog has been transitioned to a great new Forum with private messaging. Please check it out by hitting the "The Grief Club" button on the left. You can even resubmit your post there for fresh advice. Thanks so much!

Nov 24, 2014
It hurts so much
by: carol

I lost my mother on January 11, 2014. She had pancreatic cancer. When my sister called me and told me the doctor had said that mother had only 1 to less than 2 months, I was in shock. How could that be? She was still up and around. Still walking at the rec center. Still vibrant. I got to have her for 4 months and 11 days, but I am so angry and sad and cannot stand the pain sometimes.
ed note: This blog has been transitioned to a great new Forum with private messaging. Please check it out by hitting the "The Grief Club" button on the left. You can even resubmit your post there for fresh advice. Thanks so much!

Nov 22, 2014
I know the feeling
by: mytime

I lost my mom to a very rare and aggressive cancer Nov 10 2014. This pain is so intense I don't feel like I can even live through it. Myom was our everything we talked at least 2 times a day. She was only 61 and I feel so cheated
And I'm angry as hell. I'm mad and my heart is literally broken and my world is completely scattered I dont know how to live through this. I need help.

ed note: This blog has been transitioned to a great new Forum with private messaging. Please check it out by hitting the "The Grief Club" button on the left. You can even resubmit your post there for fresh advice. Thanks so much!

Oct 20, 2014
I Miss You so much Mom
by: Anonymous

I lost my mother 4months ago yesterday to Small Cell Lung Cancer she battled 1 month short of 5 years with it.I am her son and having a hard time dealing with it.I started having bad Anxiety 2.5 years ago over it because she was my best friend and my loving mother.About 5 months before she passed away I started getting really scared because I won't be able to talk and see her anymore.I knew that 1 day will come when I will get to see her again but just wasn't ready to loose my mother just yet.I tried everything to keep her alive and that Cancer was always 1 step ahead of me and the doctors.Its hard to even talk about her and even see other friends with there mother.Well when my mother was dying of cancer my father moved 3800 miles away so I felt that my parents have left me hanging so I felt abandon from them.So now have to deal with this everyday until I do get over it.I have tried meds for depression and they don't work .But I have noticed if I'm around a lot of people I do feel better so I have been trying to be around people lately but I cry all the time because she is so missed.Well I just wanted to put this out there because I know how people feel to loose a loved one specially mother it is the hardest thing to deal with.I would love to talk to someone that has some of the same issues.


ed note: This blog has been transitioned to a great new Forum with private messaging. Please check it out by hitting the "The Grief Club" button on the left. You can even resubmit your post there for fresh advice. Thanks so much!

Oct 19, 2014
i miss my mom
by: Anonymous

i miss my mom so much, i was nineteen when she died because of cancer, i wasnt able to take care of her in the hospital because of my studies therefore i always go to hospital every night, on her last night in the hospital i cried when i see her, when she saw me she cried and told me that she feel apologetic because she cant go to my graduation next year. then she asked me to let her drink some chocolate drinks and let her eat some porridge, then after that she told me that she will go home tomorrow. i stayed in the hospital for a few more hours i cried for the first time in front of her. i regretted that i didnt stay. when i went home i finished my research and sleep for three hours the someone called me that my mom's condition got worse. when i went to hospital she is in coma. she cant speak or open her eyes. the doctor told me that she wont survived. then in the afternoon she died. i really regret that i didnt stayed in the hospital that night. maybe if i stayed she maybe she may have been able to hold on.i miss her so much and i love her...we were really close. and we always played. even though she is sick she still take care of me when i was sick. she always wants to make me happy. i really really love her.

Oct 12, 2014
My mum
by: Elise

I was 11 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, she battled through chemo and radio, only to be told she was terminal. Aged 38, my mum lost her fight and died infront of me. I'm 15 now and even one I feel the physical ache of homesickness for the life I had and for her. Sometimes it's like I saw her yesterday, other times it's like it's been a million years. She never saw the person I am now, I am 15 but at the same time I have aged so much.
I am a woman. When she died I was only a child. I had to look after my alcoholic dad who has an eating disorder., I still do.
Keep strong everyone, because if I can get up every morning and drag myself to school to make her proud, so can all of you for your loved ones,
Although they're somewhere far away,
In our hearts, far they'll never stray

ed note: This blog has been transitioned to a great new Forum with private messaging. Please check it out by hitting the "The Grief Club" button on the left. You can even resubmit your post there for fresh advice. Thanks so much!

Sep 30, 2014
The pain is endless
by: Anonymous

I lost my mother about 4 years ago in February. I remember it like yesterday. It was Friday, the 26th and we had a snow day, I was a junior in high school- so excited cause i would see her on weekends since I moved in with my dad. I was texting her all day saying I wanted to come early cAuse of the snow day. At this point we were best friends. My two older siblings weren't living at home anymore so it was us against the world. Then I got the call from my sister said they could not resuscitate. We assume she had another stroke (still don't know what took her though) and they found her in her hallway apartment as if she was still fighting for hope. She was sick for many years. When I was about 8 or 9 they found an anyuerism in her brain and went through with surgery. Afterwards she had a stroke and had to be on many medications. She had disability and struggled to give me everything I needed and somehow managed to. All I wanted was to grow up and become successful so I could take care of her, pay her rent and buy her jewelry as beautiful as she was. For years I numbed the pain with drugs n alcohol. I tried not to think about it cause it hurt too much, then would feel guilty for not thinking about it. Now after years I'm trying to ask myself why I'm so depressed and full of rage. And it all comes back to my mom. I don't want to live in a world without her anymore. I have my wonderful husband but it is so hard. I went to her for everything. It is so hurtful when I am going through this rough time and just want to hug her. The one thing that would make me feel better and I can't. I hate that I get so jealous of other people when I should be happy for them. Nothing can replace her and it hard to have faith when she is not here. I sometimes try to talk to her and imagine how she'd respond but it just makes me sadder knowing I'll never be able to see her again. I hate the world for taking her so young. She was the most amazing woman. Even when she was broke and couldn't work cause of her illness she would volunteer at a hunger center when she was feeling well enough. She was my inspiration and reason to keep on pushing no matter how difficult it got. Now that she's gone I can't help but feel hopeless.


ed note: This blog has been transitioned to a great new Forum with private messaging. Please check it out by hitting the "The Grief Club" button on the left. You can even resubmit your post there for fresh advice. Thanks so much!

Sep 29, 2014
My mum
by: Kelly

I lost my mom on September 25 2014 to lung cancer. She was only 55 years of age. Although from diagnosis to her death was very quick, just 3 months. The dying process was slow and distressing.

I feel cheated of all the years I should of had with her.
I do feel lucky that when she was taken into hospital on August 2 2014, and subsequently the hospice. All but 5 days I spent with her, sleeping on hospital chairs and make-shift beds.

I spent two months saying goodbye to my mom as she slowly faded away. She fought everyday to hold on and although I am incredibly proud of her, her strength for every last breath meant it wasn't a peaceful death. She had terminal restlessness, which meant she shouted out, and could not lie still.

There were times I had to step of the room in the hospice and cry and across the hall would be another relative who was doing the same.

I thought that having time to come to terms with the inevitable would of made it easier to cope when she died but the pain of her being gone is sometimes unbearable.

I am 35 years old with a 11 year old daughter, yet I feel like a little girl who needs her mommy but she is gone. I am filled with regrets about how I should have called or visited more and although I had those 2 months to say goodbye that there was so much left unsaid.

I do take solace that when she took her last breath I was able to hold her hand and stroke her head and tell her I loved her but I know my life has irrevocably changed with a hole that can never be filled.

"I love you mom, all that is good in me is down to you. Every day will be darker without you in it. You not only gave me life, you gave me love"

And so, like other daughters who lost their mother, I continue my life. The sun rises and sets and I count my blessings to have had such a wonderful mom.

Bless us all and let our mothers legacy live on.

Sep 26, 2014
I lost my mother over a week ago
by: Anonymous

She had SCLC, I had an extra year with her. IT hurts SO BAD. I had to give her morphine to her. The only hope i have left is i will see her again some day. I miss you mamma.

Sep 17, 2014
My Mom
by: Mindy

I lost my mom on July 22, 2014. I miss her so much. I dream of her all the time. Everything I see and do is a reminder of her. She was so wonderful. My life seems so empty without her. I cry a lot. We were together all the time. She was my best friend. I could always depend on her for advice, a good listener, and just being there. She was the most wonderful person I've ever known. My life feels so empty. I have 2 daughters, but they have their own lives. It isn't like the relationship I had with my mom. everyone says, well think of the good times. I do think of the good times, but that's what I miss more than anything. I sit at home crying and think of her sweet face that I can't ever see again. People say it will ease up. What about now? I know exactly what you are going through. My heart feels like it is broken in half.

Sep 07, 2014
miss you mum
by: Anonymous

We were given about 2 weeks notice about my mums cancer. She died 10th jan 2013. I`ll never forget.

Aug 26, 2014
My Mom my best friend, my everything.
by: Anonymous

It has been over 3 years, it was 3 years on August 1st, since I lost my Mom. I will never truly get over it, she was sick for a long time about 8 years with COPD and Bronchestiasis as well, she had back trouble all her life. She was 73 when she passed and was the most loving, funny and bravest woman I ever knew. I am glad I was with her and my Dad and sis at the time and she passed at home in her own bed. That is something at least and she is no longer in pain, I know we will meet again and I go to the cemetery every week still sometimes more, it does help me some. I think of the good times we had I am the youngest of two girls, we had a close bond as I was with her a lot and had no children. It is a pain and hole in my heart that will never truly heal, glad to have my Dad, has been hard for him as well. My birthday is coming up in Sept. my 4tyh without her and they surely do not mean much to me anymore, although have my hubby and family but she meant the world to me and knew it as I did her too, we went to London many years ago it was great, no matter what your age, I was 45 when I lost her, you always want your Mommy! Love you and miss you Mom, I know you are watching and said we would be together again one day and talked about the afterlife, when I see a hummingbird I know you are there too.

Aug 25, 2014
Miss my Mum
by: Anonymous

My Mum died eight months ago and I find myself crying when I think of her and little memories that pop up. I was with her when she died and she was 92, so she had a good long life. Trouble is that even though I'm 63 I miss her as if I were a little child. I consider myself lucky to have had her all those years and am blessed to have been with her when she died. But I still feel like a little lost orphan sometimes. Quite pathetic, I know, so I really sympathise with those of you who lost a mother when you were really young. Nothing can replace a mother's love, nor the fact that for the most part, she was there for you, unconditionally.

Aug 24, 2014
by: Wolfy

I missed my mother greatly. She passed away in July of 2008 when i was 12 . It's been six years since then and I'm 18 now. It still hurts when I think about it , I cry and get a pain in my chest when I do. She died of kidney failure and right after having beat cancer. I held her hand on her last moments and I cried when the coffin was in the ground. Even today in 2014 it hurts so bad. I miss her so much , I don't think I can get over it.

Aug 21, 2014
Crying every day
by: Baruka

I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my beloved Mom on March 21st 2014... I've been lost since then. I don't know what to do, how to live. My Mom died of acute myeloid leukemia ... And we didn't even know she was suffering from blood cancer. She felt tired, she didn't eat much, but doctors were saying "we can run some tests, but there is nothing to be worried about". And the black Friday came. After I had heard she had passed away I felt that my whole world was falling apart. She was only 58... But I do believe I will meet her one day. Not only in my dreams... I LOVE YOU Mom. And I will never forget about what you told me when I asked you about afterlife in one of my dreams - you smiled, took my hand and said: "there is a life after death and I am watching over you". I believe you, I always did and always will.

Aug 16, 2014
Missing her daily!
by: Anonymous

My mom passed away the beginning of this year (2014) and I miss her every day. She was 85 years old and had dementia and kidney failure. She was the most loving, generous, caring and compassionate Christian woman her entire life and loved by many. She never raised her voice or wanted to hurt anyone's feelings. She was my ROCK! We talked at least once a day for as long as I can remember. My dad passed in 2007 after 60 years of marriage and she just kind of gave up. They were best friends and soul mates. He had dementia as well but he held her up. I began caretaking them in 2004 as I am the only living child. My brother passed away when he was 41 years of age and I watched my mom and dad suffer losing a child to pancreatic cancer. I live in my childhood home and sometimes it is overwhelming to me because of all of the memories here. I am fortunate because they are beautiful memories. I know the pain will never go away but I just have to learn to live with it. Some days are easier than others and some are not so good at all. This year I am going through all of the firsts so the holidays are going to be very very difficult. I KNOW where my mom is and I KNOW that I will see her again. I just pray that I can be at half the woman she was. She was truly a beautiful woman inside and out. She truly left a legacy and I will think of my mom, dad and brother every day of my life!!! I love you so very much, my beautiful family in paradise!

Aug 14, 2014
Be strong
by: Anonymous

Sorry to hear about your mom. ! Me too my mom died 14 days ago from gallbladder cancer after 7 months of diagnosis . Nothing you can do other than accept the fact that she is gone and you will never see her or touch her again. Be strong and I hope you will feel better with time ...you will need to learn how to live without her but never forget or stop loving her ... It is very painful !

Aug 11, 2014
by: Anonymous

My mum died on Saturday 9th August 8 months after diagnosis with bowel cancer and I am completely and utterly devastated. I absolutely loved and adored her. Its only been two days but I miss her so much already. I'm in a daze and the world seems different and empty without her. She was 79 and my Dad is 90 (he has his own health problems) and we were just never mentally prepared for her to die before Dad. Mum was always healthier than him before her diagnosis as well as being younger. I still can't get my head around that. Me my brother and my aunt were present at her bedside at the Hospice when she died and my fear of watching her suffer and die was overcome by my love for her. It was so important to be there and for her to know that she had her beloved sons there at her side. Can anybody please help me with my pain.

Aug 08, 2014
Missing my mother so much
by: Anonymous

My beautiful sweet lovely mother died of ovarian cancer 4 months ago. My heart hurts me every single day. I cry all day and night still. I am so
envious when I see others with their mother. I can not believe no matter how hard I pray I will never ever see my mother ever again. I am very depressed also.

Aug 07, 2014
Just passed away last week
by: Toby

My mom paassed away last week she was 70 years old . I know she is in better place now in heaven with dad ! it hurts a lot so much..a huge hole in my heart .. I am still crying everyday asking god why and how this happened to us !
The day you died I kissed your face four times
After you died I held you close to me
I knew it would be the last time I held you for the rest of my life
Until that moment I had never known a true broken heart
Over and over I thought "How can I live without you?"

Jul 19, 2014
I miss my mum too
by: Anonymous

I'm very sorry about your mother. I lost mine in Oct. 2013. And I still miss her a lot. I will never stop missing her. The pain will get better. But there will be days when you cannot get over it and it consumes you and all you can do it is just lie down and feel all of it. I love my mum so much and I miss her all the time. I just wish I could tell her that. Take care of yourself.

Jul 02, 2014
I miss my mom
by: Dawn

My mom died on 12/21/2013 at 8:10 p.m. of a massive heart attack. She was out eating breakfast that morning and shopping that same afternoon. It was a total shock to the whole family. I miss her so much. My mom was 70 years old and I was not expecting her to die. Her Mom had lived to be 84 years old and her sister's where in their 80's as well. It was a very sad christmas for all of us but, we had to carry on for the 5 small kids in are family. Mom had always made christmas fun for all of us. I miss her so much. I love you Mom.

Jun 01, 2014
Mom passed away May 27th
by: Anonymous

My best friend passed away on May 27th in the hospital at age 88. I am very tearful and sad. My Mom lived with me for the last 22 years. I saw her every day and talked to her on the phone when I was at work. She was a wonderful, loving and caring person. My life feels very empty......

May 30, 2014
Miss my loving caring mom dearly
by: Anonymous

my mom passed on 31 march 2014 and I terrible miss her so much it hurts. She was my friend and loved me so much as I am her only daughter.She had 3kids and loved us all unconditional. I Hope wherever she is she knows how much I love her, she was so incredible and bubbly her presents is missed so dearly. It feels like a piece of me is missing, whenever I look at her house I hope to see her again just one more time and tell her I miss her and love her. I don't know how to deal with the fact that I won't see her again or hear her speak. I miss you mama may your soul rest in peace until we meet again♥♥♥♥.

May 30, 2014
hurts so bad
by: lost in vancouver

im in pain daily from the loss of my mother on may 5th , 2014. i feel so cheated and feel the drs screwed up in the hospital...she was coming home the next day from hernia problems then passed out of the blue...i want someone to blame, get mad at or hit...soo lost..i was raised as a only child with my single mom..we were always together... she was always there for me no matter what.... having a hard time thinking of it as forever.

May 27, 2014
Continued on I lost my maman on Mai 8, 2014
by: Giselle Blackburn

We were at the funeral home on Mother's day.
I am back home in Toronto and I cried a lot but tried to be strong. I should be grateful that my mom was with us all those years and she lives on her own like she wanted. She cooked and used to send us fudge, cards and presents for Christmas and Birthday's. I still have her voice on my answering machine which I want to keep forever
Thanks for reading me

May 27, 2014
Lost my maman on May 8, 2014
by: Giselle Blackburn

Hi, I lost my mother on May 8, 2014.
My mother went to the hospital on Saturday March 15, 2014. That day I spoke with mom in the morning and she was coughing badly. I suggested that she called 911 with her lifeline bracelet.
She said that she would do it the next day if she was not feeling better. In the meantime, one of may sister spoke with her and encourage her to call 911. (My mother is 92 years old and 9 months.
My mom lives 1200 km from my house. I speak with mom every day and sometimes 2 to 3 times daily.
On March 19, 2014, my sisters (3) and I got together and drove home. We took turns staying with mom at the hospital at the beginning, she needed us to be there 24 hours.
My sisters had to go back to Montreal for different reasons. I stayed behind and continued to be with mom at the hospital, by that time, my sisters-in-law were also helping. My mom went in for a gastro problem so she thought, she had pneumonia, she could not drink nor eat. She had obstruction in her abdomen. Mom's heart is very irregular and she is not to have any operation.
One day they told us that she had no option but getting the operation for her obstruction. By this time she was intubed. No bowel movements, stc. On April 2nd she signed to have the operation the next day. On april 3rd she had the operation and it went well. For about 2 weeks, things were improving, she started on real food, very soft food at first, she was still coughing a lot and she had pneumonia again. One day she decided to stop all medications, she was extremely tired of all the tubes etc. We agreed but we were not ready for the staff to stop her medications knowing the outcome. They stopped one day and we spoke with the doctors and asked them if whatever she had was fixable. They said they will try. So the next day we started her on her meds again. She was not getting better but only weaker. She went through another procedure called VAC because her operation was not healing. We had a family reunion and agreed to let mom go slowly by making her comfortable using the protocol.
I sometimes feel guilty because I did not want her to suffer anymore and accepted decision.
I think that mom must be mad at me since I was waiting for her to die in peace. Maybe she felt that I did not care. In the last week, I played music that she liked on my cell phone.I slept with her in her bed in the hospital when she asked, she felt more secure. I held her right hand when she passed. After this , my brother and I took care of the funeral arrangements etc
I felt like I had a lot of energy and drive to get everything done. Cleaning mom's apartment, dealing with the landlord etc, looking after my other siblings .

May 10, 2014
Happy Mothers Day my Angel
by: chris

Tomorrow is Mother'sDay. The Fifth one since I lost my mom. I want to be grateful. I spent that last mother's day with her. 2 weeks later she had a stoke. I honestly believed she would recover from the stroke, but cancer was the real culprit, and so I only had her a few months more. I thought I would be better by now—it has been 5 years, after all. And maybe I am. But, this time every year I go into some impossible downward spiral, and it takes me weeks to recover. She was only 72 when she left me...and I am still mad about it. It's just this huge hole in my heart. I can't seem to got over it. She left me a year after my dad died. So all of a sudden my life support has been cast away. I have no other family in my life, I thought this pain would be better. But it's the same. Oh, mom, how I wish I could take you out tomorrow. Love, Chris PS Good lucky to all of you out there who have lost their moms. Lets imagine them together at some giant tea party.

Apr 12, 2014
good luck
by: Anonymous

my mom passed away on Feb 2nd 2012 at 6:32am. I remember the moment still. As much as I want, I cant forget that morning. It has been over two years now, and everyday I think of her. I cant help but get sad. i dont mind the sadness as much anymore, thats what got me through was being sad. i mean that is a person that knew you so well who you will never talk to again. its hard, good luck.

Mar 08, 2014
i miss my mam
by: Anonymous

my mam died from liver failure a complication of her diabetes. I live away and didnt see as much of her as I should caught up in my kids lives I didnt talk to her as often as I could and now she is gone I miss her every day there is so much left unsaid I hope that she knew how much I loved her and that there was no one on earth like her she was truly amazing and now shes gone and I'm sick of all the pious platitudes that are meant to make me feel better about it but only make me feel guilty for not wanting her to be dead.

Feb 06, 2014
Miss you so much mum
by: Jane

My mum passed away on xmas eve 2013 after battling with an on going illness. We were told in April that it was terminal but it still didn't make it any easier and i miss her dearly. I have a 3 year old son who although young misses her too and gets very upset and angry, i wish i could take that pain away. Its still early days but i hope in time the pain will ease rather than just learning to live with the grief, my mum is the first person i have lost so i have never experienced grief before. Miss you every single day mum, gone but never forgotten. Love you more than words could say. Rest in peace mum and granny x

Jan 21, 2014
by: Anonymous

I lost my Mum in August 2013 completely unexpectedly I had spoken with her the day before (Saturday) and she was in good spirits. The call that came the next morning broke my heart it was a pain that I had never ever experienced before. Since her passing I feel so lonely my Mum was just amazing when I lived near her she came every day to help me with the kids, she was the kindest loving generous person ever. I miss her so, so much every day is a battle which I hide from my husband and my two boys inside I am crying and longing just to hear her voice and give her one more hug...How do you ever get over losing the one person who loved you so unconditionally and was always, always there for you and always on your side. No one can ever, ever replace your Mum ever.x Karen.

Dec 07, 2013
My Mom
by: Lenny

I lost my Mom November 13th. She was 91 years old and suffered a stroke October 28th. For two weeks I stayed with her in the hospital hoping for some sigh that she would show any improvement. It didn't happen and she died 9am that day. Although she was 91 I fell death is a robber at any age. My world is such a lesser place without her and long for the day I will see her again. I love you mom.

Nov 28, 2013
miss you mum
by: Anonymous

my mum passed away last month and its tearing me up. i have 3 little ones so try to get on. but its so hard and i miss my mum so much. i dont believe it gets better with time i think u learn to live with the grief. sad. im 28 cant bear the thought of never seeing my beautiful loving mum and nanny again. it really hurts and i'll feel like this forever im not depressed just being reall.

Nov 18, 2013
If I knew then what I know now . . .
by: Nancy's baby girl

I'm 45 years-old, I have a wonderful husband and two great kids but no one can take the place of my mom. She died suddenly in July of 2012. She was battling illness but she was not sick unto death and I know that mistakes were made in her care that led to her death. The circumstances of her passing were shocking and traumatizing. I feel like I should bring litigation to the people who are responsible but I also feel too emotionally devastated and depleted to undertake it. All but one of the people I've spoken to about it (including one attorney) seem to be focused on her age (85), as if advanced age deem medical mistakes too difficult to even bother to try to prove. My mom's passing doesn't even seem to have had much (if any) affect on my Dad (who was estranged from her) or her other daughter or her other grandkids. I never really knew my extended family very well so now I just feel profoundly disoriented and lost. My mom once told me that I was the only one who cared about her & that I was the only one she trusted. I now know the same was true in reverse; She was the one who truly cared about me and the one I could always count on. My mom believed in the Lord so I take comfort in the belief that she is with Him but I just don't know how (or why) to go into the future and engage my world without her here. She was the one person in my family who was interested in my well-being, who took pride in my accomplishments and whom I meant something to. I just wish I had realized that and told her how much it meant to me while I had the chance.

Nov 14, 2013
by: lacey vaiza

Omg im so sorry for your loss I just lost my mother on oct 31 2013 and I only read a few lines and I had to say this I feel the same way but I did have a month I had like 6 day before she died and I feel so cheated one day she was fine the next she was diagnosed with something that we never even thought are thing coming and trust in believe we've had so many tests done because of her condition and All of a sudden they said that her liver is gone and then before we knew it she was gone im very sorry for your loss what do you do to over come your day???

Jul 25, 2013
My mum
by: Sharon bunt

I lost my mother 6 and weeks ago I miss her so much she was 81 she had dimentia and she ad to be cared for in a nursing home I feel so emotional and angry it hurts so much I just have so much anger and emotion in side of me I don't know how to release it I love u mum and I miss u

Jun 11, 2013
my mom gone i couldn't get there
by: shelia

Ky mom go she had cancer. She lived in KY and I live in CA. She had been sick for a long time. came back in March to help take care of her in May I went back to California to get my daughter and before that back she passed away it was June 8th my brother lives in Hawaii they held up for him to see you before she passed away she gave me a thousand dollars to get a car and to move back home with her but I did not make it back there before she passed away I try to make it back I did not get to see her. My brother and sister would not keep her there one day for me "o see her.the house was my but they sold the house and all that was in it .so I lost my mom the house there in KY and I had got a place in KY I try to make it there for got to pay a ticket and when to jail when I got out lost all that I had there when back to CA lotse all I had there and my car got stolen I have five kids. And my boys will not talk to me and my girl is here with my she all I have and my family wont talk to me so besides that I have lost it all.I keep trying but Im so tired of it all and don't know what.to.do my mom was who o could always. Go to so now what to do I having. No I deal I need belittled gut me and my17 old girl I lost it all

May 09, 2013
by: Anonymous


May 02, 2013
It still hurts
by: Deborah

I lost my mom suddenly 4 years ago. I have a husband and children, but nobody can take her place. She was my best friend. I feel like I will never get over losing her. I, as well, believe that medical mistakes caused her death. She was in for observation overnight for stomach pain and i was going to pick her up and bring her home. Instead I got a call that she was on a ventilator and shortly after I got to the hospital she died! she was funny, smart, sharp as can be, 83, in good health and the most wonderful woman I ever met. She taught me to love the Lord. she was kind, generous and always listened. Now I have a grandchild and I love her so much, but I still miss my mom. I know she's with the Lord now, but I don't think I will ever get over this loss. She was such a big part of my life and I miss her so much it hurts.

Apr 27, 2013
Life without her
by: Anonymous

On the morning of my 39th Birthday, Mom called to wish me a Happy Birthday. We made plans to have dinner later that evening, she said "I can't wait to see my baby" and we hung up the phone. Two hours later, I get a all from my brother saying Mom was being taken to the hospital,they think she had a stroke. When I got there 20 minutes later, she was unresponsive, unable to communicate. She died the next day...massive stroke. She had not been ill. She was 69 years young. This was so unexpected. It did not seem as if she was in pain, she just slipped away peacefully. Luckily, I have my father, my husband, my daughter and friends who are so supportive. Although it helps, I JUST WANT MY MOM. I cry every day. I wonder when this sick feeling will go away? I am so angry. I hope she knew how much I loved her. She really was the ONE person I could tell anything. We laughed, we cried together, she was my BFF. My heart is broken.

Apr 17, 2013
I Love and miss my Mom.
by: Anonymous

I lost my mother 2 months ago. She was my best friend. I am 59 years old and my Mom was 86. My whole world has changed. I can't get over the fact that I will never see her in this life again. I am broken. I go about my everyday life as best I can. My Dad is 89 and I feel so bad for him as we'll as my brother. I know she's in a better place and I am thankful for that, but I just wish I could hug her one last time! I'm thankful for this forum as it helps me. Thank you all for sharing! Mom, I love you!!!!! Until we meet again, Rest in Peace!

Apr 17, 2013
I hurt so much I lose my breath
by: Boo

I miss my fiancé so much, it doesn't seem real we had our whole life ahead of us. We did everything together, people always saying life goes on it will get better he's in a better place but a better place is here with me loving each other. Some day we will see each other again I miss him so much you will always be in my heart.

Feb 21, 2013
Missing my Mom
by: Nathalie

My Mom died only 2 months ago and I miss her so much...I knew I would not be ready for this but now I have no choice to be. She loved the Lord and she taught us about that same love and that is what gets me through. I wish I could climb a mountain and scream till I pass out. She was my worldly rock and though I know I will survive, it hurts. How would have thought a death could hurt so much...I love the feeling though that one day we will be together again. Mom I love you always and want to live a life that would make you proud.

Feb 18, 2013
i miss her so much it hurts
by: Anonymous

im sorry for your loss i know how you feel i lost my mum in june i found her on the floor we alway live together and all i do is cry she had a little yorkie that i look after but she miss my mum so much the vet said best to have her put down she was 12yr old then what i did was focast on my dog she was the last dog my mum brought me and i had to have her put down in jan with fluid on the brain i feel so lost my mum wasnt only my mum but my best friend to and i didnt have time to say good bye all i hope is that she knew how much i loved her when i think of her and that all the time i think could i done this or could i done that my hole world has gone i know you got to pull yourself together but it easier said than done so i do know how you feel all i hope that one day we meet up and my mum with my dad and happy

Aug 16, 2012
missing my mother
by: Anonymous

My mom paaed away 3 years ago and it still feels like yesterday. Im in horrible pain from my loss. Everyday i think this will gey easier but it doesnt. We were like best friends i could tell her anything. the day she passed was un real i didnt even look at her face as it was covered and i was scared. Now i wish i woukdve looked at her just one last time. But i didnt want to remember her that way. Its a terrible pain so deep and dark it affects me everyday. I think of all the times we laughed and cried and argued. Man i miss her so i pray for strength everu day. Mom i know your in heaven smiling healthy and beautiful i miss you love alwyts steph.

Jul 12, 2012
cannot get over it
by: Anonymous

I felt the same way regarding medical care. I know my mom wouldve made it longer if they didnt wait so long to treat the underlying ailments, that they in the hospital caused. I hate them. SO much, When the phone rang at 230a.m. I didnt want to answer, but I did. I still wish I didnt. I then went and held my dead mother hand and rubber her cold feet. her wish was to never die in hospital, to this day I'll regret it, what can I do. She was buried this past Friday 7/6/12. I'm so sad, so lost...I feel i'll never truly be happy again. she's the person that I called, or ran into her room and we spoke about everything..I'd see something silly at pto meeting, we'd discuss...we'd sit with our egg bfast and talk about why we do/don't like angelina jolie. we liked rachael rays recipes but most people we knew hated them, and wondered if we had bad palates and laughed anyway. I'll never have that with another soul, ever. I'll live another 40 years without that kinship.

Jul 08, 2012
by: gary barton

I don't know what it is about loosing your mom,it just seems to suck whatever is good from life, sucks it down to another place that i can't ever get to.

My mother was an angel.

My mother was selfless

And if you don't know what selfless is, look it up, you will find many examples in history.

Mom, i hope to see you in Heavon, i miss you.

May 04, 2012
My Mom Committed Suicide 7 months ago
by: Candra Maita

My Mother committed suicide 7 months ago. I believe she was in a very dark state and very depressed. It saddens my heart that she was THAT sad. It is almost unbearable. I could barely function. Every morning I wake up to a real life nightmare. She is no longer here. Sometimes I feel like I can't even breath. That I am operating in slow motion while everyone else around me is on fast forward. Even my blood feels like it is moving slow as if it were made of lead. There is a pit in my stomach and the dark clouds that linger overhead due to the truth of the mater never seem to go away. It has been 7 months and it seems like yesterday. But I will say, that even if you don't go through some part of the grieving process, everyday you are still filtering little bits and pieces of the situation. It's hard to hear, just hang in there. But I will say - this too will pass. But it's not going to be easy. As a matter of fact it is very, very, very difficult if you have a sensitive spirit and a heavy heart for those types of things. But there will be times where you will experience laughter, for instance, again. But in the meantime, try to focus on paying tribute to your loved one and cherishing the good memories that you have of them. If they have left family behind it would be a good time to take a notebook and start writing some of those detailed moments you have shared with them for the younger generations in your family to read later. I would include some of their struggles, places they have been and things they have done, accomplished or liked. This pays tribute to them. I will warn you, it will probably send you on a rollercoaster of emotions, but this is also how we mourn our fallen and loved ones. Sometimes you have to take it one day at a time. Other days you have to take it just one minute at a time. Also, don't miss the opportunity to take note of the things really stand out right now during your journey - they are more than likely some of the more important things in life!

Apr 17, 2012
I just lost my mother on St. Patrics Day, one month ago today. At almost this exact hour.
by: Anonymous

I am so very sorry for you. I know how you feel because I am going threw the same thing. My heat hurts so much, it actually aches. I have never had this feeling in my life. I don't see a way to ever recover from this great loss. I love my mother more than anyone could ever know. I cry almost daily. I do have an occasional good day. I see her everywhere in my town, at the stores, passing in the car, I envision her there. My relationship was very strained and now there is NO hope of ever having the relationship I so longed for all of my life with her. God if there is any way for you to tell my mother how much I love and miss her Please, Please tell her. I feel like life is so empty now. You can tell someone how much your mother matters and to spend all the time you can, but there are no words to say it enough. If you are someone who still has your mohter or father, go to them, hug them Tight, look them in the eyes and tell them how you love them and how much they mean to you and do it OFTEN. All I can do is pray for peace. I hope you will do the same. God bless all of you!!

Jan 05, 2012
can't stop crying
by: Anonymous

your post is so familiar. my mother passed away 7 weeks ago and sometimes, like now, i just can't stop crying. i too have an older sister & brother & believe she favored me. especially this last year while she was sick; we got so close. the only other time i felt that close to anyone was when my daughter was an infant. i had my hand on her heart when she left this realm. it is still so surreal. i feel like i want to wake up from a bad dream & it just can't be true. i am really trying to figure out how to move forward in my life & tonight am feeling like it is impossible, but i also know she'd want me to do well & get better. i just don't know how. i want my mom.

Jan 03, 2012
God is mysterious
by: Justin

I know anything I say will not bring anyone back, or make you feel any better. But God works in mysterious ways and I know how you feel. It does get better with time. My grandmother was one of the sweetest people on this earth, she gave to anyone when she had hardly anything to offer. Me and her became so close and I loved her so much, the night that she past away I felt terrible I had to occupy my little sisters so that they could not see her being taken away by the paramedics, and she later passed away at the hospital. I feel terrible and it eats at me that I was not there for her to at least hold her hand, or I that I could not say I loved her one last time. But with every day that passes I know she is in a much better place that she deserves and not to say that I miss her dearly I still cry and wish I could speak to her one last time. Dont really know if anyone will read my comment but this is a real story, and it does get better, just hang in there<3

Jul 11, 2011
I miss her so much it hurts
by: Anonymous

I just lost my mom on fathers day she fell she died in the hospital we went every where with each other dont know if i can make it with out her all i been doing is crying its real scary not to have her with me dont know what to do my mom was in her 80s i am in my 50s i lost a lot of people in my family started when i was 3 but losing my mom really hurts a lot real scary to

Mar 24, 2011
I know how you feel
by: Anonymous

I lost my mom almost one year ago on April 3. She was the rock of my life. I never felt like I took her being here for granted, now I realize I did. I will say the physical pain does go away, that pit in your stomach and the feelings of anxiety because you suddenly realize that the only person who truly gave a sh#t about you is gone. But as the months go by you will gain some sense of normalcy again, you must, life goes on. But there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of my mom a hundred times. It has finally gotten to the point that I don't wake up and the first thought is that something is wrong, oh yeah, my mom's gone. Take one day at a time, it's the only thing you can do.

Mar 05, 2011
I miss her too.
by: Anonymous Mar11

I lost my Mum 8 months ago, she was a wonderful woman. My best friend. The hurt is still there, as raw as ever. These past 8 months, I've been searching you Mum, my heart will not accept that you are gone and when it occurs to me that you are actually gone, my heart cries.

Right now I feel that the past years have not been real, I've been in a dream and you have been my Angel. Oh where are you now Mum and how are you...I miss you so much. How do I learn to live without you, you are the one who taught me everything?

I don't like my life anymore, I am tired and ready to come to see you soon. Love you.

Mar 02, 2011
by: Anonymous


Mar 01, 2011
So sorry for your loss
by: Melissa

I am so very sorry for your loss. I feel the same way you do in losing my dear Grandmother who raised me. She passed away almost 4 months ago today...(how can it be almost 4 months since I last saw her??) Each day is so painful. I go on with my routine, with work and what not because I have to, but inside I am so lost and in pain without her. She has been my best friend since the day I was born, and just like you, thinking she is no longer on this earth with me is so very hard. I too try to think of her in heaven, and at peace. She was not in good shape at all, especially the last few years. I know she is in heaven with all of her brothers and sisters and my Pap, but I am still dying inside without her. She is my heart. She was the best Gram and Mom to me I could ever wish for. She was a little Italian lady with a tough exterior but the biggest heart. I am so grateful I was blessed to be given her as my Gram, and for each and every minute we shared....there would have never been enough time for us to be together...and I would never be ready for her to be gone from this world I am now in without her.
I am keeping you in my prayers...praying that you find some comfort and peace. If you need to talk, please feel free to email me anytime.
Take care.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Moms.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!