I miss him so much!!!

by Bonnie
(Beaufort, SC)

I can't stand the thought of the upcoming holiday. My husband...the love of my life...has been gone almost 8 months now...some days are ok but then there are the harder ones where I feel like the day and the night will never end...this is one of them...the nights are the worst...he loved Thanksgiving the most of all. He loved the holidays. He had the choice at work to take either Thanksgiving or Christmas off and he always chose Thanksgiving. We would fix the food together and around 2 am we would put the turkey in the oven on low. When we woke up in the morning it would be to the wonderful smell of freshly roasted turkey. The last couple of years before he died I had stopped cooking because the children were grown and off on their own and he had become vegetarian. Despite this, we went to one of the children's homes for the day and enjoyed ourselves. He was very sick the last two years of his life and when he died in March he was in terrible pain and the quality of his life had deteriorated so much. Despite this and the fact that I knew he was terminal, I was still in such denial that he was actually going to die and leave me here. It was so hard taking care of him those last few months and watching him slowly die, yet when he did die I felt such pain I couldn't even breathe. I really cannot stand the thought of the upcoming holidays! I have been invited to friends and family's homes for dinner but really don't want to go..don't know what to do right now. Thanks for listening!

Comments for I miss him so much!!!

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Nov 24, 2011
wish you well
by: debbie

i am new to this site and still learning how to talk to people. I lost my dad and husband on the same day. It has only been 2 months. I choose to stay home and not visit family because I didn't want to bring them down. Now I regret it. My kids live 3 hours from my house and my mother lives 11 hours away. I told myself I didn't want to drive that far. I will now spend the day by myself with a dog and not be around the people that I love and they love me. Believe me when I say that you won't bring them down, they will lift you up. Holiday's are the one when you need to share with family and enjoy loves present and passed.

Nov 22, 2011
I miss him so much
by: Mari

I am very sorry for your loss, Bonnie. I realize it has been terrible missing your husband . We just have to take things a day at a time. Your husband is with the Lord , safe and one day you will see him again. The grieving time varies with each person and must be gone through.I think holidays are the worst.
We care for you and are here to listen. Just take a step at a time, stay busy and cherish the good times when he was not sick. The Lord is with you and will see you through.
I would accept the invitations and not stay home alone. You will get comfort from those whom you love and it will make things easier then staying home alone. We are here for you Bonnie. God bless you and just keep going one day and one step at a time. No matter the hour or day, we are here for you. Take care of yourself too. There may be memories that are overwhelming but it will do you good to be with others. Keep posting.

Nov 22, 2011
I understand
by: Christine

I feel your pain! You are not alone. I lost my husband 6 1/2 months ago and as Thanksgiving approaches my days are getting worse...

I have decided to stay home for the day. I might feel differently when I wake up but for now I am going to stay home. So many well meaning family and friends have invited me but I can not deal with going and seeing happy couples...knowing mine isn't here with me. Also I don't want to go and cry and ruin their day or make anyone uncomfortable. Sometimes it's just to hard to smile.

My Bill died suddenly in his sleep. We were married 2 days shy of 6 months...such a terrible tragedy.

Please remember all the years you did have together and the laughs and memories will help you get thru this...I know that one never "gets over it" but I am sure we will eventually find a way to live with it.

One day at a time!

Nov 22, 2011
I Miss My Husband Too!!
by: TrishJ

Bonnie~
I feel like I'm reading my own story when I read your post. My husband will be gone one year on December 3rd. Same here. I knew how ill he was but I never thought he'd leave me here alone. I took of Joe as well. It was so hard to see him suffer, especially those last few months. He sought such a brave battle. He was here last Thanksgiving but so ill my daughter and son-in-law practically had to carry him into the house after being at my sister's house all day. Still he enjoyed himself and loved him a Thanksgiving dinner.
I was in a total state of shock last Christmas - I was on auto pilot and remember very little of it. I'm not looking forward to this holiday season at all.
The pain is still overwhelming some days. Some days I do OK....but then...with no warning....the tears and black moods hit. I have a strong faith in God and know my husband is with me still. I just miss his physical presence so much.
God Bless Bonnie. Try to have a happy Thanksgiving. I know I still have a lot to be thankful for.....healthy children and three beautiful little grandsons. It's just so hard and I have too much time on my hands to feel sorry for myself.
Hugs and Peace.

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