I miss my Bernadette, she was my world! Lord be good to her!

by William G.
(Pennsylvania)


I lost my beloved Bernadette to cancer in November 2010. She was a 9 year breast cancer survivor. But in July 2010, we got the terrible news that no one ever wants to hear! She fought so valiantly for 113 days! But for whatever reason? God decided to call her home. I feel so lost without my angel in my life! And I don`t know what to do? Part of me wishes I was with her. For I feel that I will never see the sunshine again in this world. I`ve withdrawn from the world around me. And spend 95% of my time alone. I hate crowds, and dread running into someone I know when I do go out. I don`t want to be reminded of my loss. Or accept anymore condolences now.
I first met my beloved 15 years ago we worked in the same place. We were both divorced, with 2 young adult children. But eventually in 2003, our friendship blossomed, we grew closer, and the time was right for both of us! We took it slow, and our young love went from strength to strength! We found the love, and soulmate that we always wanted! We were never happier! And spent every possible moment together. Our families were thrilled to see the love, joy, and laughter we shared! The world was all that I dreamed it could be. I found my beloved, and God willing, we would grow old and happy together. We talked about marriage one day. But always thought that there would be plenty of time for that.
Then came the trip to a hospital emergency room, and the diagnosis that haunts me still. I did all that I could to love, and assist her in her battle! I spent weeks by her bedside, night and day. God knows if I could have taken her place, or taken her hand and followed her. I most certainly would have! On 11/13/10 at 12:15PM, the heart that loved me, and that I loved so much, stopped beating. Now I am a lost and lonely soul. All my family and friends feel terrible about my loss! But as we all know, there are no magic words that can heal your pain! Don`t get me wrong, I would never do anything to hurt myself. I know life must go on. And that my Bernadette would be the first one to tell me that! I still cry every day thinking about what should have been. I promised God in my prayers during her illness. That if no miracle was to come. I would not lose my faith in him no matter what! The only solace I find is the hope that one day, I will be reunited again with my Bernadette again forever, I pray! I am 51 years of age, retired now, and hoping to see the sunshine again! May the Good Lord guide and bless us all in our battles with grief! Thanks for listening everybody!

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Jan 29, 2012
I am feeling some of this same kind of pain
by: Anonymous

Just lost my x-husband to leukemia. We had known each other 28 yrs, and been close every since. Married in 1985, met in 1984. Divorced in 1996, but remained very close friends. We had a son together and both loved him so dearly and shared him even after the divorce. We kept close tabs on him, and still dated as friends over all these yrs., and talked on phone almost daily. I even gave him gifts at Christmas and his birthday. he fought a long hard battle with leukemia, over a period of four + yrs. Was in bad bad pain at the end, and took a lot of chemo, platelets, blood....was in hospital many times fighting it. I was at his bedside much of the time. He finally got to the point where he just said "let me go- I cannot fight this anymore." He was on 2 pain meds at the end and the morphine at the end...finally just bowed out of this world and drifted into the next. His heart quit beating while we sat helplessly watching. Then Ohhh the pain we felt and that I, and my son are still feeling is unbearable. Thom was brave up til the end. Though I know he is with God, that doesn't relieve my hurt much. I too, am withdrawing, I just do not feel like socializing at all. I feel like my world will never be the same again without him. We shared so much together.

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