by Shell

My brother committed suicide just 3 and a half weeks ago. I miss him so much it hurts. He had been going through a tough time he had lost his girlfriend in 8/2010 when a drunk driver hit them while riding their motorcycle. My brother survived although I know we lost a big part of him that day because he loved his girlfriend so much and he wanted to marry her. They were just starting their life out. 7 months later my brother puts a gun to his head and kills himself one night after he gets home from the bar. The last person at the bar to see him said that he was so drunk he could barely function. I did not see any signs that he was thinking about doing this... I had seen him at least 4 times that week and had no clue... He promised me he would not do this. 26 years old and the best guy in the world. We had been through so much together our childhood was chaotic to say the least but we always had each other. My brother walked me down the aisle at my wedding. He came and changed my tire if it was flat day or night. He would of done anything for our family but now he is gone. I just think if he were not that drunk that night he would not have done that he would of never left our mother this way but now he does not get the chance to wake up and regret his decision and I am left on this earth without my brother and one of my best friends. I do not think anyone understands the pain that is going on inside. I just want to scream most of the time. I miss my brother more than words can say. I started counseling, I talk about him all the time, and I bought several books to read. I am trying everything that I can think of to help but I still am in soo much pain. I miss and I love him so much.

Comments for I MISS MY BROTHER....

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Sep 30, 2014
I miss my brother
by: Anonymous

I lost my brother 25 years ago. My brother was very special to me. I was only 14 years old when he killed himself and he was only 23. I never realy got over it. It early messed up my life and when I get lonely I still cry is death.

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Aug 04, 2014
My Lil brother commited suiside ... :(
by: Anonymous

My lil brother commited suiside on 18thApril 2014..

I am missing him so much, and every one is saying that he will return back to me as my son..

I hope so he should..

I love you and miss you so much dear..

Jan 29, 2014
Shell and twin sister
by: Elisa

I am so sorry for your losses. It's so painful and some people will never come to understand what you are going through. I lost my brother 17 months ago. I still have that feeling in my tummy like someone punch it. The good news is that it isn't always there. Also, sometimes when you are scared and worried about something like a holiday or certain first times without him, it doesn't turn out to be as bad as that.
The thing that I learned after going through the first year of terrible grief, is that it is seriously NO good to keep your pain to yourself even when you think that it may make them uncomfortable. Joining a group helped a lot too. They have suicide survivor programs out there. Please be good to yourself, your brothers would want you to be.
Eat well, get massages, spend time with people that you care about,get loads of hugs, loose yourself in movies or books..long walks help too.
I hope the pain starts to ease a bit soon and when it does, embrace it! You deserve it.

Dec 24, 2013
hardest time
by: mia

dear sad twin sister.
losing your brother such a short time before christmas must make this time of the year very bizarre. I hope you find the strength to go through this. And sooner or later you WILL. my thoughts are with you. and I hope our brothers do have a better life up there. They deserve!

Dec 20, 2013
Sad twin sister
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss. That must be unbearable.
I promise you that you WILL make it. It's going to
Be awful but I promise you'll make it. You must
Be affected in everyway. I'm so sorry and i will be thinking of you

Dec 19, 2013
my beloved brother
by: mia

I lost my brother in June this year. He committed suicide like my dad 18 years ago. When my father died (I found him) I was just 7 years old and just started to go to school. Life was about to start and yet it has been horribly interrupted. Due to my young age I think I could go through this easier but my brother and sister suffered much more and both ended up taking pills and antidepressants.
But it seamed they can handle life however. Beginning of this year my brothers life finally seemed to go in the direction he wanted, starting his own new nisiness. All perfect but then he got sick and couldn't do his dream job as a music producer anymore, after working in it for 2 months. This just distroyed him. He has been a musician ever since I knew him. The most talented person I ever knew when it came to creativity and music stuff. Now he is gone and miss this musical and great person in my life. Sometimes it helps me to listen to his songs to make me feel closer to him and then there are nights where I can barely fall asleep. He left behind a beautiful daughter who just looks so much alike him and many broken hearts. I miss him so so much and will always do. He was my hero. And I pray I will see him and my dad again.

we all have different stories but I guess the same pain.

Nov 24, 2013
sad twin sister

My twin brother took his own life only 7 weeks ago. I am so sad..and feel so alone. wanting someone out there to understand. I started googling this is what i found.

Dec 28, 2012
I miss u Andy
by: Michelle

My lil brother died on the 7th Sept 2012. We share the same birthday and this is my first xmas since his death.

He was troubled n caused trouble. We were both adopted as babies n I dont think he ever got over it.

He never met my 13mth old daughter n I wish he had so Id have a pic of them together.

The death was suspicious n the Coroners inquest is not til Feb 2013.

I miss him so much it is a hollow deep pain thats hopeless as I cant do anything to change it.

I dont know how Ill b on our birthday which is March so just after the cause of death is established.

He leaves two lovely children a niece he never met and our parents and me destroyed not that we ever tell the truth in case it upsets the other. He was n still would b 34yrs old.

My Aunt gave a musical toy to my daughter at xmas n it plays the same tune as the one I bought him the day me n my dad collected him from the adoption agency. He still had that toy that i can b sure of two yrs ago when he showed it to me n my husband.
I have his possessions but not that toy....i just miss him

Nov 12, 2012
by: Anonymous

This past summer my older brother was kicked out of the house for doing stupid irresponsible stuff I.e. doing drugs, just bad things. He is 21 and I am 15, his little sister. I miss him so much it hurts inside, I don't know what to do because I am not allowed to talk to him, I don't know where he is or how to get a hold of him. I am scared that I will never see him again. It feels like he died. The worst part is, is that I cry myself to sleep and I don't even know if he even thinks about me. I mean I grew up with him, he cares right? I just feel sad all the time and I want to just see him one more time.

Oct 19, 2012
It's the worst pain imaginable
by: Anonymous

My brother took his life just over two months ago. I had my first dream about him last night, that he was leaning over the edge of a roof and that I pulled him away. God I wish I could have helped me more; I'm tortured by the thought that I could have saved him somehow. Losing someone you love this way just hurts so bad. I know I'll never "get over" this, I'm just trying to survive it right now. My thoughts & prayers go out to all of you.

Sep 20, 2012
Dan, life isn't the same
by: Elisa

You are my person. You always had my back in every way. You are kind, loving, supportive, funny, compassionate, wise, give me amazing advice and I always enjoyed every minute with you. What breaks my heart is I know that you were so lonely with your struggles. Dan, to see you suffer was painful. I wish I could tell you that I love you again and be able to convince you just how cherished and loved you are. It's crazy that you were lonely, your funeral was full of family and friends that were broken hearted and teary eyed. I wish I could prove how much I cared and felt your pain. I can't see joy in a life without you. I would never put Dad in more pain but I'd be tempted if I was convinced I could hug and kiss you on the other side. You are on my mind 24/7, I miss you with all of my being ....I love you and god bless

Sep 15, 2012
So sorry....
by: Anonymous

I can really feel the pain inside of you right now... I have 3 brothers. One of whom suffers from Major Depression. I often worry for him. He makes hints about how alone he feels, and has a hard time enjoying life. It makes me sad. He's such a smart, funny and loyal person... Just makes me sad. I'll pray that you find some peace inside. I can only imagine the hurt.

Sep 14, 2012
I need my brother
by: Anonymous

My brother Billy Mott died June 12, 1987 (age of 19) while drinking & riding his motorcycle. To this day Sept. 14, 2012 I still feel pain & emptiness. I miss him & need him so much. When I enjoy something new in my life, oh how I wish he could experience it too. What would life have been if he was in it.?. I wasted years in self distructive mode, with no luck did he return to save me. I relized he is there, in spirit, but it was myslef that had too walk the straight road. MY heart aches... I've come to realize though I am lucky to have had him on this earth for 19 years then to never ever have a brother named billy. If though I had one wish it wouldn't be wasted on wishing I was Rich with Cash, it would be one more day with you Billy.I love you Billy & one day I will see you. Your sister, Alisa

Aug 26, 2012
I miss you bro
by: Anonymous

On 8/8/12 my brother rented a gun at a gun range and shot off a bunch of rounds then he put it to his head. I loved my brother and still do. But I'm in so much pain!!! Man you could have called me I was always here for you!!! Love you bro!!!

Jul 20, 2012
my brother
by: Anonymous

I lost my brother to suicide about 6 months ago. He'd been acting weird when coming home for visits(I was 17 he was 27). He was paranoid always and thought the strangest things. A few months went by and he finally seemed normal again but he emailed us a month later saying not to bother him for awhile while he got his PhD. Two months later cops came knocking on our door saying our brother was dead. I will never forget that day.he was the smartest person I knew. I always looked to him for guidance or answers. One of the funniest people I knew too. Sometimes I feel numb like my brother is still here and then I feel guilty that I am happy. Then sometimes it hurts so bad that I want everything to end. His friends have been so kind to us and did so much. I wish my brother was still alive cause now that I'm a little more mature I could've known him better and could've understood him better. There's always a shouldve in the back of my mind but I cannot change history. I just hope that someday I'll see him. I hope everything about heaven that he talked about was true. Miss you so much

Aug 25, 2011
my brother
by: Anonymous

I lost my brother 12 days ago to suicide and I am just sick...I dont know how I am going to go on in this world without him. He had a few problems with drugs but NEVER thought it would come to this. I do not know how to cope and I am having a horrible time! I just dont know what to do....

May 19, 2011
I lost my brother too
by: Anonymous

He committed suicide on Jan 2 this year. The pain is unlike anything I've ever had to endure. I've been getting counseling too. Stick with it if you can, I think it will help in the long run. I've been going to a support group too, and that has also been helpful. I'm really sorry. I can't know your particular pain, but I do know how badly it hurts. Stay strong if you can, it's not easy. I'm thinking about you.

Apr 17, 2011
by: KIT

My brother committed suicide just over a year ago..Part of me died that day too. I feel your sorrow but mostly your love for him and want you to know you are not alone and your sharing your story touched my heart. WE can always say why, what if, we should of or could of..but in the end we just have to live with the hole in our hearts. I hope you find peace and know that he is is at peace with his girlfriend..sending you the hope to find peace with his passing again..I am still looking myself but will not stop trying. God bless you

Apr 17, 2011
Missing your brother
by: Anonymous

I lost my son to suicide 9/20/10 this is the hardest grief anyone can endure. Suicide is very cruel it leaves us survivors with many unanswered questions. It will be 7 months on the 20th since he died and his sisters & brother myself & his dad still have bad days, there is not a minute in the day that I don't think of him, hes on my mind day & night. I have read many books in the past 7 months & I have been to counseling. I really didn't find counseling made me feel any better & the books help a little but this is something each one of us have to learn to cope with in our own way & our own time, it doesn't seem anyone or anything really helps because what we want is to wake up from this terrible nightmare & have our life back. I do not know how long it will take for us to cope but I have been told there is a light at the end of tunnel. We will survive, we have to survive because I would never want my family member to endure this kind of pain again but I know one thing for sure when it's all said & done I will be coming out a completely different person then I was before. God bless the broken road we travel.

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