I MISS MY BROTHER....
My brother committed suicide just 3 and a half weeks ago. I miss him so much it hurts. He had been going through a tough time he had lost his girlfriend in 8/2010 when a drunk driver hit them while riding their motorcycle. My brother survived although I know we lost a big part of him that day because he loved his girlfriend so much and he wanted to marry her. They were just starting their life out. 7 months later my brother puts a gun to his head and kills himself one night after he gets home from the bar. The last person at the bar to see him said that he was so drunk he could barely function. I did not see any signs that he was thinking about doing this... I had seen him at least 4 times that week and had no clue... He promised me he would not do this. 26 years old and the best guy in the world. We had been through so much together our childhood was chaotic to say the least but we always had each other. My brother walked me down the aisle at my wedding. He came and changed my tire if it was flat day or night. He would of done anything for our family but now he is gone. I just think if he were not that drunk that night he would not have done that he would of never left our mother this way but now he does not get the chance to wake up and regret his decision and I am left on this earth without my brother and one of my best friends. I do not think anyone understands the pain that is going on inside. I just want to scream most of the time. I miss my brother more than words can say. I started counseling, I talk about him all the time, and I bought several books to read. I am trying everything that I can think of to help but I still am in soo much pain. I miss and I love him so much.