I miss my Daddy
My Dad passed away six months ago from a long journey of battling cancer. He was diagnosed in 2004 and I never heard him complain once. I miss being able to go to him when I have a problem. He always knew exactly what to say that made whatever my problem was look like it never existed. I watched him in pain for 56 hours before he passed. He asked me what was going on and I told him the doctor said he only had a few hours left. He said "no I am not dying! I am fighting this, I am going to beat this cancer." I told him that the doctor said since he hadnt had a bowel movement for 5 days that was a definite sign that death was near. He then proceeded on attempting to go to the bathroom and the pain I saw in his eyes I will never be able to erase. If I could go back to that moment I would stop myself from telling him that. If I didn't tell him about that, he wouln't of tried so hard to do it and he wouldn't of had to go through all of that extra pain in his final hours of life. I can not share this story will many people because they act like I have just shown them a ghost when I mention "bowel movement." But, when someone you love has cancer you realize their isn't much left in their life that is "secret" because when the end is near your loved one needs help doing everything. I know my Dad is in heaven watching over me now. But, I really am struggling moving on. I cry daily, people have told me it gets better...but I feel it has only become worse for me since he passed . I cry even more than I did the first month he passed. I loved my Dad and I want to run up to him and receive his giant bear hug just one more time.
I love you Dad! Your "little princess" forever...