I miss my Grandad :-(
I was almost 8 when my beloved grandad died suddenly. I found out some years later he had a cardiac arrest as he was finishing work on the 10th April 1980. At the time My mother opted not to tell us children and thought it better to ship us off to friends so she could deal with her fathers death and my 3 month old baby sister.
I remember waiting week after week on Sunday morning for grandad to pull up our driveway with a box of pebbles and a cream filled donut to share with us kids, just as he always did. Eventually I stopped waiting for him to come over; I thought it was because he and my mum had an argument and they were angry with each other; or just didn't love me anymore since I had called him an old goat when I was angry ... even though he laughed at the time.
I don't remember exactly how old I was when I found out my grandad had died, I know I was well into my teenage years. I only found out because my cousins were talking about his funeral - I was crushed, I was angry and I was hurt that I never got to say good-bye to my grandad.
My mother's decision still affects our relationship, I'm still hurt by it and I am not sure I can ever completely forgive her for robbing me and my siblings from saying goodbye to our much loved grandad & I have told her so in very recent years.
Grandad has been gone for 34 years now and I still miss him just as acutely today as I did then (I am actually crying as I type this). I wish I could have just one more box of pebbles with him, to listen to him talk in his thick scottish accent, to hear his laugh and to have one last cuddle ... I miss you Grandad, you old goat.
Tir nan og.