I miss my husband
I lost my husband named Hari, just 23 days back on 28th feb,2012. This is the horrible month which i never wanted to have in my entire life becoz previously i haven loosen my dad in the same month. My husband is only 32 years old and unfortunately due to pancreatic s he was dead. But I strongly feel like he is with me, even now. I regularly speak to him for every hour by watching his snap. To be frank am literally missing him and the life with him.
From the day i lost my husband i hated god for taking away my husband. I dont find now the difference between God and Devil. So i hate god the most , he ruined my entire life without any reason. I never tried to blame anyone but today am in a state of blaming god. Why he separated my husband from me.My husband is so sweet and he never tried to harm any one and i no everything about him totally as ours is love marriage. We dont even have kids to live for them.
All the time i am trying for the sources by which i can speak to my husband but am not confident about the sources. Sometimes am even getting angry on my dead spouse for leaving me alone. Am trying to die but everyone were saying that i cant reach my husband after my death. Its even more painful. God is so clever and he didnt even left me a single chance to know about my husband where abouts. I literally hate god for doing this sin to me and i want to straight away question him at my first talk when he comes face to face.
I dont no what to do. All the doors are closed and am in dark and i became totally helpless without my hubby. I am just feeling like my husband left me alone in the mid way in the sea , even though he knows that i dont no how to swim.
To even share my feelings to others through a letter it so painful......
i love u so much ra. U r my sweetest friend and husband. I can never have a person like you through out my life.