I miss my love and best friend

I lost my husband on January 8th 2012 he was taken in to hospital on Jan 1st after he collapsed at home.I thought he had the flu but he had Legionnaires disease and died very suddenly he was only 58 and it was far too early for him to go we had been together for 30 years.It has been 2 weeks since he left me and the pain is so hard to bear i want him back so desperately. I don't think i can go on without him he was my rock and best friend. i am so lost it is so painful living without him i feel so alone.
It is like someone has ripped out my heart i feel so empty i cant concentrate on anything there are so many things that remind me of him. I have his hairbrush under my pillow to smell him.I sleep with his favourite top what the hell is going on? I cant work all i do is cry and get angry i don't want to be on my own and then i want to be on my own i think i am going crazy.I think this is hell on Earth i can't sleep , eat i pray to god for strength but i don't think he is listening to me.We had so many plans for 2012 and now there doesnt seem any point in anything anymore. Please somebody make this pain stop !!!!!!

Comments for I miss my love and best friend

Click here to add your own comments

Feb 13, 2012
I know how you feel
by: Anonymous

I know how you feel because I lost the love of my life on Jan. 20 2012 to a reccurance of breast cancer. Becky was only 59 years old. I know the pain is awful I feel like the best part of me died that day too. But take heart God is there and he does care. I too want the pain to stop. I know I can't reason it away or medicate it away I just have to feel it as I go through the process of grief. I truly believe God's promises in the bible are real about life after death and the availability of God's help in this life. May the peace of God be with you.

Jan 25, 2012
I feel the same
by: Anonymous

I found this site by accident and so glad I did. I am very sorry for your loss. I too lost my husband of 35 years May, 17, 2011. I was called to pick him up from work because his boss said he was acting strange. Thought it might be a stroke. It was cancer & six weeks later he died. Just fell asleep and didn't wake. I didn't get to say good bye. I want so much to have him kiss me, oh how I miss his kisses. To hold me, to tell me I am "his bride", to tell him I am sorry for any harsh words I ever said or talk to me about decisions that need to be made or things we would like to do. He will never walk his daughters down the aisle on their wedding day or see a grandchild smile. Just everything. I don't think it gets easier. I think we just get better at hiding/controlling our emotions. One day at a time. I will never be over the loss, but I hope the pain gets easier. Take care.......

Jan 24, 2012
Feel Your Pain
by: Anonymous

Hi
So so sorry for your loss...so many of us...so sad. When I say I feel your pain, it is so very true. I read about your sorrow and your loss and it could be me writing it. I lost my husband, best friend, soul mate of 46 years on May 5, 2010. Somehow it feels more painful this year. The counselor told me I was probably numb the first year and now that the numbness is wearing off, reality is setting in. He is gone. How many people tell me he is not gone...He is here in another form. I want the old form back. I want to hold hands with him, put my arms around him and feel him holding me. When he was here I was safe and warm and never lonely no matter how alone I was. Now, no matter how many people are around me I am always lonely. God help you and all of us. I will pray for you and ask for your prayers in return.

Jan 24, 2012
ITS WILL I MISS
by: KELL

I TO HAVE JUST LOST MY HUSBAND OF 13 YEARS ON JAN 4TH 2012 HE WAS ONLY 39 IT WOULD HAVE BEEN HIS 40TH BIRTHDAY ON JAN 19TH BUT I LAYED HIM TO REST ON THAT DAY INSTEAD IT IS JUST SO UNFAIR IT WAS SO SUDDEN HE WENT TO BED WITH A HEADACHE AND PASSED AWAY IN THE AMBULANCE IT WAS A HIDDEN HEART PROBLEM HE DID'NT KNOW HE HAD. WE HAVE TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN AGE 6 AND 4 HE WAS SUCH A DEVOTED HUSBAND AND DADDY IM GOING THROUGH SO MUCH PAIN RIGHT NOW WORDS JUST CANT DESCRIBE I JUST FEEL SO ALONE I CANT STOP CRYING I CANT SEE A FUTURE WITHOUT HIM ITS ONLY OUR CHILDREN KEEPING ME GOING I FEEL SO ANGRY HE WAS TAKEN SO YOUNG WHEN WE HAD OUR WHOLE FUTURE AHEAD OF US AND I CANT STOP THINKING WHY?. WE LOVED EACH OTHER SO MUCH OUR LITTLE FAMILY IS BROKEN

Jan 23, 2012
I know your pain
by: nancy

First let me say how sorry I am for You.I know the pain you are going through. I lost my husband 3yrs ago yesterday. All the emotions you are feeling are normal,(what ever normal is!!!).Your heart is broken,and you feel like you'll never survive. I'm hear to tell you it's ok you will,Life will never be the same.I find it easier to take it day by day,sometimes it's min by min.It's ok to be mad at him and God,they both understand. Talk with them it helps.All of this is overwhelming right now and that's ok.when it gets to be too much close your eyes and feel your husbands strong arms around you,and know in your heart he is there with you to comfort and support you.

Jan 23, 2012
lost my son
by: Vicky

Hi, we lost our son on the 4th of December he was 26 years old and the light of my life, he was also the one of our 5 children that gave us the most worry, we were christmas shopping and he rang to just see what we were up to, he often rang like that, when we were going home we noticed a traffic jam and took a detour, we were only home 1 hour when the police came to the door to tell us it was our Brendon and he was on life support, he stayed like that for 8 days then we had to decided what to do, on the Saturday night Brendon made the decision for us and went to his nan and pop, he donated his organs(his wish) to five other young men, the greatest christmas gift he could give.We miss him and always will, I keep telling myself I will see him again in the next stage of my life, he will come to meet me, I know he loved us all dearly his friends tell us that somehow it not the same as having him here to say those words, they tell me that life will get better than it is now but it will never be better than before when Brendon was with us, want you to know what you are feeling is just what I am feeling, I hope life improves for all of us soon

Jan 23, 2012
sorry
by: Nela

i feel exactly the same. lost my mom 4 weeks ago.

Jan 23, 2012
Praying for You
by: Anonymous

Soo Sorry about your loss. I lost my husband 1-7-10. Of seven years he was only 35 and died of blood clots and fell to the floor lucky i was there he almost died in front of me I was scared he turned blue on me i have regrets to this day i wished i would haved kissed him goodbye but wasnt sure what was happening @ the moment but I still have my hard moments where i just cry. But Note God Is with You! He Loves You! YOu feeling almost everything i felt when my Husband passed like I didnt want to be alone for a week than i felt it was time i wanted to have my space I still get like that @ times but God has helped me along my Jorney. God Bless You!AH

Jan 22, 2012
Sorry
by: David

So sorry about your loss. It does get a bit easier , but to be truthful, not by much. It's been 8 weeks since my wife passed away and I still cry each day ... I am angry and guilty . There are days when I scream for her...I look forward to the day I will see her again ... You must do the same ... Peace

Jan 22, 2012
understand
by: Anonymous

I understand where you are coming from. I lost my husband Jim after 25 plus years of marriage on November 1, 2011, Jim's death was very sudden. We were in Corozal, Belize C.A. where we were going to retire and spend the rest of our lives together. He was my best friend, lover, husband and my rock. The pain is still there and it is so hard some days to bear the pain and try to do any thing or even think. This past week has really been the pits. I had no motivation to do anything and there is so much to be done. Today is a bit better but not much. The one thing that I have found here that seems to help is 1 step, 1 breath, 1 day. I have even posted it on my Facebook wall. It is the only way that I think any of us get through this nightmare that we are going through.
I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I could make it better but unfortunately no one can. The only thing I can do or say is if you need to talk with someone, I am here for you. Mine is going to be even more difficult on February 1st as that is my birthday and 3 months since I lost Jim. May God Bless You and Watch Over You In Your Time of Sorrow.

Jan 22, 2012
I'm here with you
by: David K

I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my fiance Dec 3rd in a car accident. She was hit by a car and died instantly. I just asked her to marry me 3 weeks prior. We were to start our family in June. I was to take her to Europe for the first time in her life in May. It's been 7 weeks and 1 day for me. It's getting better. I also lost my father in March 2011. I know your grief.

Take some Melatonin natural medicine to help you sleep. Take vitamins, mainly B class and Omega 3. I bought some Mediation CD's for grief Jennie Wright was the name of the speaker.

I felt the extreme gut wrenching pain 24 hours a day for about 5 weeks. Now it's starting to ease up. Still depressed and sad and cry each day, but each day will get better.

Try to take a trip away somewhere, somewhere where the memories are not everywhere. Give yourself a break, a chance to breath.

I feel for you. I wish I can have my fiance back. I want my family with her. She was my best friend and soul mate I am sure. I hate death. But your not alone.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Spouse/ True Love.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • XML RSS
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget
->


 POPULAR
  RESOURCES


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the

GRIEF CLUB


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief
Program

Free Griefwork
E-Course

Free Stress
Management
E-Course



SBI Video Tour!