I miss my mom and grandma.

by In Pain
(California)

August 1 2011 I spoke with my mom about coming to pick up my little sisters this is also my grandma birthday. I am the oldest of four we have a 3,15 and 17 year gap between us. I told my mom that I would come get the girls tomorrow when I had some things situated. The very next day I took my kids to the movie and as we where leaving my moms husband called me and said my mom passed away in her sleep. The movie was close to my mom house so I immediately drove to her house and inside felt like a scary movie. seeing my mom laying in the bed not breathing. I went crazy and even tried to wake her up. I have never been the same. I was also six months pregnant with my first daughter ( which she predicted)we are a very spiritual family we all grew up in church so for a while it altered my relationship with god at first but then I began to give him the glory because we are taught that when you die that means you suffer no more. I had my Grandma who surprisingly did not take it well. I was hoping that she would pick me up, but she was grieving over her daughter. I was also dealing with marital problems so I felt so alone. It has been two years but I only began to feel a little better. This situation also aged my grandma she started to forget stuff and even began to use a walker I new things would change because My grandma is so independent she lives with my aunt who she takes care of she also drives. My uncle, her son felt that he needed to step in and take care of his fragile mother but the problem for me was he lived in another state and I only saw him maybe 5 times in life. If my uncle was not a twin I don't think I would recognize him. anyway he did come get my grandma and her health did not improve in fact they amputated her leg. Other members of the family decided that she should come live with me ( I was so happy ) I am a grandmas girl I would turn to my grandma and she was there for me every step of the way even when people in the family frowned upon me. She backed me and genuinely loved me. I mean a godly love one that few experience. I loved her to with my whole heart. My grandma passed away before I could take care of her the funeral is September 7 2013. I am so confused. Why would god leave me here on earth without my support system. I am 27 years old and I feel completely over whelmed with sadness. I sometime resort back to my spiritual up bringing but I sometime feel like I am cursed or something. I even question weather or not I am a good person, because god wouldent possibly do this to his servent. I think other people are afraid to talk to me because when I lost my mom I had so many calls, cards and emails that I could not get to them all but not so much this time. I still cry for my mom and now Grandma

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Aug 27, 2013
I miss my mom and grandma
by: Doreen U.K.

Dear In Pain. I am sorry for your loss of your mother and grandmother so close that you hardly have time to process each loss and grieve this. perhaps you could benefit from seeing a grief counsellor for a few sessions so that you will receive trained support as you work through your losses. You can also do this with members from your Church. You are still so very young so not mature enough in FAITH to understand WHO God is from an Adult point of view. You keep referring to your beliefs you grew up with. Just like we need food each day to live. We need Spiritual nourishment in order to grow in Faith and Love and know who God is. Anger is also part of grief. It doesn't mean you don't love God. When my husband died 15 months ago of cancer I was angry with God because I prayed for a miracle of healing. But I have since learned that part of God's healing is to actually take our loved one home. God gives us life, and he is in control and takes our lives back to himself when our time has come. Best we can do whilst on earth is to live a Godly life because this world is not our home. We are passing through and will meet our loved ones again on the other side. They have just gone on ahead. Don't feel you are cursed. God Blesses us daily. We will all go on to lose our family members. God is not cruel because He leaves us alone. Ask God to Comfort You. Ask God to send his Comforter to you and to help you through your marriage problems and all the difficulties we face daily. As long as we live on this earth we will have trials and tribulations. But we don't face them alone. GOD IS WITH US. He is preparing us so we will be ready when He comes back to earth for us. Trials come to make us stronger. In our Trials we learn more about God. Draw Near to God and He will draw near to you. Develop this relationship whilst you have time. Once we die this is it. Where will you spend ETERNITY?? This can be the turning point in your life. God gives me the strength to live each day. I am all alone now and I meet with God each Day. My plans are to Live a righteous life and live for God so I am ready to meet with God should I die suddenly. This is my FOCUS. I wish you Comfort and Peace in your grief.

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