I miss my mom and grandma.
by In Pain
August 1 2011 I spoke with my mom about coming to pick up my little sisters this is also my grandma birthday. I am the oldest of four we have a 3,15 and 17 year gap between us. I told my mom that I would come get the girls tomorrow when I had some things situated. The very next day I took my kids to the movie and as we where leaving my moms husband called me and said my mom passed away in her sleep. The movie was close to my mom house so I immediately drove to her house and inside felt like a scary movie. seeing my mom laying in the bed not breathing. I went crazy and even tried to wake her up. I have never been the same. I was also six months pregnant with my first daughter ( which she predicted)we are a very spiritual family we all grew up in church so for a while it altered my relationship with god at first but then I began to give him the glory because we are taught that when you die that means you suffer no more. I had my Grandma who surprisingly did not take it well. I was hoping that she would pick me up, but she was grieving over her daughter. I was also dealing with marital problems so I felt so alone. It has been two years but I only began to feel a little better. This situation also aged my grandma she started to forget stuff and even began to use a walker I new things would change because My grandma is so independent she lives with my aunt who she takes care of she also drives. My uncle, her son felt that he needed to step in and take care of his fragile mother but the problem for me was he lived in another state and I only saw him maybe 5 times in life. If my uncle was not a twin I don't think I would recognize him. anyway he did come get my grandma and her health did not improve in fact they amputated her leg. Other members of the family decided that she should come live with me ( I was so happy ) I am a grandmas girl I would turn to my grandma and she was there for me every step of the way even when people in the family frowned upon me. She backed me and genuinely loved me. I mean a godly love one that few experience. I loved her to with my whole heart. My grandma passed away before I could take care of her the funeral is September 7 2013. I am so confused. Why would god leave me here on earth without my support system. I am 27 years old and I feel completely over whelmed with sadness. I sometime resort back to my spiritual up bringing but I sometime feel like I am cursed or something. I even question weather or not I am a good person, because god wouldent possibly do this to his servent. I think other people are afraid to talk to me because when I lost my mom I had so many calls, cards and emails that I could not get to them all but not so much this time. I still cry for my mom and now Grandma