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I miss my mom so much!

My whole understanding of cancer was turned upside down last November. My mom had not been feeling well for a few months and made several emergency trips to the hospital only to be sent back with meds and/or told there was nothing they could do to help her ailment at that time eg. pain in her legs and then another time it was constant diarrhea and not being able to eat. By November 4th she lost so much weight and looked so ragged the doctors finally kept her in the hospital. It was like they finally believed her that something was seriously wrong. On November 9th she was told she had metastasized cancer in the bone and there was no cure. On November 30th she died. I thought when my mom got diagnosed that she would live a few months more and fight it for a while. I thought only pancreatic cancer killed fast. Boy was I wrong. November was a roller coaster month. I don't know how I survived it and continued to work. I have so many of the feelings that others have shared on this website and it is already helping even though this is my first time on it. I had no idea that I would experience grief like this. It is not nice, I want it to go away but I know it can't, I must suffer through the process on the road to healing. Thank you for this website as it will keep me company and help me cope and feel normal and not crazy!

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