I Miss My Mom So So Much - My Life is So Empty
by Linda Keown
My name is Linda and i live in Zimbabwe. I am 55 years old. I am divorced with one daughter aged 17 years. My mother passed away on 5th April,2013 whilst we were on holiday in Johannesburg. My mother had been living with me for the past six years after my sister passed away in 2007 (from a broken leg) in Durban, where my mother was living, in a cottage on my sister's property. Then in 2009 my brother passed away from cancer. My Father had passed away in 1990. I know deep down that my mother never ever got over these deaths. In about December 2012 my mother started having the occasional vomiting/loose stools or constipation. Her appetite was not good or her intake of water and she started losing weight and getting very weak. We were at the clinic weekly anyway to check her bloods because she was taking Warfarin. On the two occassions she was seen by the doctor because I was worried about her state. She was always given fluids through an IV and her BP would pick up and she would feel good again. Her last blood check was on 27.3.13 and hear reading was good 1.41. We were leaving Zimbabwe on 3.4.13 to holiday in Johannesburg with my sister for three weeks. When we landed my mother was poorly and started vomiting. We took her to my sister's house where she rested and the following morning we took her to my sister's doctor who admitted her to hospital immediately. She was given fluids and was looking and feeling so much better on Thursday afternoon and the doctor was really impressed. When we visited her on Friday morning it was a total different story. She could hardly talk and I literally had to carry her back from the toilet she was so weak. She was then moved to the ICU and her condition deteriorated and she sadly passed away around 6pm that evening on 5.4.13. she was 78 years old. I am absolutely stunned by the sudden turn of events and am finding it so hard to cope back here in Zimbabwe without her. I feel so empty and terribly desperate to see her again. I have never felt such a loss as I am feeling now. My home has so many memories of life here with her and the atmosphere is now so different. I have the support of my lovely daughter and caring neighbours who are like a second family to me and they really loved my mother but life for me is just not the same - I sometimes wish time would hurry up so we can be together again but I know that is selfish because of my daughter.