I MISS MY MOM

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I MISS MY MOM

by Tina VanBuren
(Tampa, Florida)

THIS IS MY BEAUTIFUL MOTHER

On January 1st of this year we were told that my mother had stage 3 cancer. The doctor could only give us weeks to months. We begged for a month and we got 3. The last week of my mother's life was spent in a hospital. My sisters biggest fear was that my mom would pass by herself, and I agreed. We were very close to our mother. We do thank God for those three months, but it still wasn't enough. So many things left unsaid.

The last 3 days of her life she was non responsive except when the pain would become unbearable. My sister and I never left her side. Did she know we were there??? I ask myself that question every day. When she was diagnosed, I couldn't stop crying, since she passed it comes in spurts. I mean, I keep feeling that I can pick up the phone and call her still, it just don't feel real to me at all! Then there are other times where it is tooo real, and I hurt more than I've ever hurt in my life.

Sometimes I want to be left alone, and sometimes I feel so lonely. When there's a crisis, or a funny thing that my kids or grandkids have done, I really want to call, and that's when I feel loneliest. God, I just miss her so much.

It's true what they say. My kids and friends think I should just get on with my life, and I just can't, it's been less than a month for heaven's sake. They just don't get it. I don't even talk about it half the time because I don't want to depress anyone else. It seems as if I don't have another tear to shed, then something, or nothing, will happen, and I'm crying again quietly in my room.

That's what I'm going through right now. Do you think she knows we were there in the end??? I surely hope so. It would mean alot to me.

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I MISS MY MOM

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I miss my mom and sis
by: Jean

Five years ago I lost my mom. It hurt so bad and to this day I miss her very much. After she passed away I found out from one of her friends that she knew she was dying but she made her friend promise not to tell anyone. I miss doing all of her errands for her and with her. I miss having that person I can call anytime and who truly cares. I was mad at her for not sharing what she knew but am ok now and know she didn't want anyone to worry about her. I didn't think I could miss anyone more. Then this year my 48 year old 1 and only sister passed away. She left behind 4 kids with the youngest 2 being 11 and 6. Her 6 year old girl thinks mommy left because she didn't clean her room when she was asked. This time the pain is even worse. My sister was sick for awhile but we never thought she would go. She was going to the hospital and was on antibiotics because she got pnuemonia. Her appt was the next morning but then she had a heart attack and her little ones were there screaming when she got CPR. I hurt for me but more for her kids. I am doing the best I can to help them but it will never be enough. They need mommy. I know there is a God but sometimes it doesn't feel like there is. Please pray for all of us. I will pray for everyone here too.

It's been almost a year
by: Anonymous

and I miss my mom more and more every day. Sometimes I dream she's still alive and I'm shocked when I wake up that she's not. Sometimes I cry and cry in my dreams and wake up exhausted from it. Sometimes I just ask her to visit me in my dreams and give me strength.

I love you mom, I love and miss you.
I hate you cancer. A cure can't come soon enough.

mom knew
by: Anonymous

Our mom passed just yesterday, she was cancer free for one year, then came bone cancer, for 3 days moms eyes were closed gasping with everybreath. she had 1 foot in this world and 1 in the next. 6 children a husband and 2 sisters came 600 miles. mom waited. she passed shortly after her sisters arrived. we held hands said a prayer together told her we were all here and it was ok to let go, mom's eyes gently opened as if to say i know your here, moments later she was gone. Do we attend church every week? No but we needed to know mom knew we were there. god answered our prayers. through all the pain, he gave us peace

The pain will never cease but the memories remain
by: Anonymous

I lost my Mother 8 months ago very suddenly and not expecting anything was wrong - quite shockingly. It hurts every day and I think of her and wish I could talk to her and share my life with her. All you have is your memories. Try and be happy with that, albeit hard at times. That is all we get now though so we have to learn to make due. Cherish the fact that you had someone who understood you, loved you and wanted only the best for you in life and it will fill your heart with comfort to know that you had a relationship with a special woman that will last your lifetime.
I am sorry for your loss and we are in this all together- carry on with your life and live it so that your mother would always be proud. God Bless!

Missing Momma
by: Jeneva Kay

My Mother fell from a river bank and landed on her head from a 12 foot drop. She lingered for 8 days on life support. We lost her on June 11 2011. She was only 60 years old. I miss her so very much. I didn't realize how much she was my best and only friend. I cry every day. She was so precious.

There are Great People in this World
by: Anonymous

Dear Family, I lost my Dad when I was in my 30 and what a loss that was but I had a dream about my Dad. When I woke this thought stayed in my mind. Life is a invitation and with most invitation we have to RSVP and if that invitation came in the mail today with dates and time that would be shared with you and your Mom would you do it all again, knowing this time the exact date it would be over? I know my answer was yes and I'm pretty sure yours would be too. Hang in there and remember there is probably someone in your community suffering the loss of a family remember longing to still be a Mom or Grandmother! We are not alone when we continue to reach out and Love! Remember you will see her again in the kindness of others.

MY Rock and best friend
by: Anonymous

My mom was killed in auto accident on Nov. 22nd. I was talking to her on Computer and she used pager then 25 minutes later, she was hit by train. We are both Deaf. My mom was talking to my dad, in America Sign Language about me then she noticed train arm was down, but it was too late. It took my mom's life. I was heartbroken and devastated. I did not realize what I have lost until she is gone.

I cry daily. Her Urn will be buried on my 40th birthday next month. I do not know if she would see her last child turning 40th. She has 4 children. We were very close, unlike other siblings. We lived together, she helped raising my Deaf daughter. It is very painful going on daily. Not being able to talk to her on Video Phone daily. She was very involved in my life and my daughter's life. She was healthy but why did it have to happen? I just don't understand.

Poem
by: Judy

I lost my mom in August 2008 to pancreatic cancer. She survived a horrible surgery to restructure her entire digestive system, went through rehab and came home. But the cancer was too aggressive. I promised to bring her home, and did, and she had 17 days. The first 10 she spent saying goodbye to friends and family. But yet she asked - "Can't I beat this?" She was unresponsive the last few days.

Time does allow you to move forward but you'll still miss your mom and the special friendship you shared. No one can take her place.

I enjoyed the poem that was shared. This one is special to me:

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the autumn?s gentle rain.
When you awaken in the morning?s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die.

Mary Frye, 1935

May time comfort and heal you.

Your Mom lives on in you
by: Emily

I lost my Mom in September of 2008, to cancer.
My sister and I cared for her up until her death. She died at home with us close by.
I miss talking to her everyday. Now that I am facing health challenges of my own I miss her more than ever.

I feel her presence, I feel her touch. Even though her physical persona is gone her spirit lingers.

I see my mothers face and hear her voice in my sister and my nieces.

Sometimes people don't understand that I still grieve, I will never get over losing her.
She was my friend and my traveling companion. We enjoyed shopping at Goodwill and Salvation Army together. For the longest time I couldn't stand to go shopping with out her.

The fact that we lost my Mom and her 2 sisters in 18 months has been hard on all of us. I have tried to keep in touch with my cousins but we all have so many calls on our time.

I will miss her forever but, the pain is diminishing with time.
Blessings and comfort to all

missing my mom=(
by: michelle

I lost my mom 5 months ago=( she had cancer it was the worst feeling in this world I miss her with every beat of my heart I think about her every day that passes by! I love u and miss u with all my heart!

Sad in Alabama
by: L.T.M.

Hello, I lost my mother on May 10th 2010 and we buried her on May 15th. I am still in unbelief. The day after mother's day and I didn't see it coming. Yes she was ill but not to the point of death, or so we thought.

I can't describe how the pain is in my life right now. I've cried, and I've laughed, I've even been angry. But I will tell you this, that it is the Lord who is my strength that is keeping me. I miss her so very much because she and I were very close and it hurts not being able to pick up the phone and talk to her and just knowing that I can't go by her house anymore to take my baby girl to say hello is devastating.

But the bible says, "to be absent from the body, is to be present with the Lord" and I know my mother is in heaven with her Master and she's happy. To be honest, they wouldn't come back here even if they wanted to because heaven is so much better. Keep your head up and just know that you will see your mother again and so will I. She's in the grandstand of heaven cheering you on so make her proud. My prayers to you and your family and we all will get through this hard time.

My Mom
by: Anonymous

Two of my favorite quotes: both paraphrased:
Helen Keller: The ones you love you will never lose, they become a part of you!

Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones shines down to let us know they are with us!

I lost my Momma August 1999 - it was the most devastating day of my life! I cry every time I think of her still. Momma's are the closest "flesh and blood" we have on this earth.
She will always be a part of me while I am on this earth..can't wait to see her when I get to Heaven!

i miss my mom sooo much
by: tisha

i just lost my mom april 5th 2010 .. not even a month ago... i feel as though i am losing it at times ... i can't handle the thought of never talking to her again ...she had just turned 50yrs old feb. 24th ...she had been fighting breast cancer for the past 3yrs ..i just never thought she would lose the fight she was so strong.... i miss her so much it hurts to breath sometimes..i pray she knows how much she meant to me. She was not only my mother but my best friend, my much needed phone call, my get-away...i feel sooo lost

I'll never forget my mom
by: Anonymous

I lost my mom in Aug. '09 and am still in shock and disbelief. I was an only child and she and I were like best friends, even though she definitely was a mother who expected the highest standards from me. She made me everything I am today.

Even though she was 82, her death was sudden, a stroke, and she was in hospice for two weeks totally unresponsive, so I had no time to say "goodbye". That's what makes me the saddest - no goodbye. But I have had three dreams about her which were very real and I think she was communicating with me.

So I want to tell everyone who is suffering and grieving, YOUR MOM IS THERE, no matter the circumstances of her passing. She is your guardian angel, watches over you and you can talk to her through the angels or God.

NO ONE will ever take the place of my mother and I know she would want me to try to go on somehow; but at this time, it is almost impossible. So you are not alone, there are many of us out here crying daily and trying to cope. It is extremely difficult and only through her love and God's love will you survive. Love to you all....

I Do Understand!
by: Wendy

I miss my mom, too. And "they" say (whoever "they" may be) that time heals. Well, it's been five years and I still miss her terribly. Sure, we go on - but we always will miss them. That never changes.

As time passes, it's easier to get through and we cope, yet we always will miss them.

It's okay to miss your mom and it's normal to feel sad, whether it happened last month or 20 years ago.

Don't stop living your own life. She wouldn't have wanted you to stop your life because hers had ended. Honor her by being the best you that you can be.
((hugs))

Peace, prayers and blessing to you. This poem helps me. My mom past in Oct, 2008.
by: Janet

Dear daughter, please don't mourn for me
I'm still here, though you don't see.
I'm right by your side each night and day
And within your heart I long to stay.
My body is gone but I'm always near.
I'm everything you feel, see or hear.

My spirit is free, but I'll never depart
As long as you keep me alive in your heart.
I'll never wander out of your sight-
I'm the brightest star on a summer night.

I'll never be beyond your reach-
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach.
I'm the colorful leaves when Autumn's around
And the pure white snow that blankets the ground.

I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond,
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.
I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring,
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.

I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
And you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.
When you start thinking there's no one to love you,
You can talk to me through the Lord above you.

I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
And you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.

I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
And the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on a baby's face.
Just look for me, daughter dear, I'm every place!

Yes she knew
by: Angel

I am sorry for your loss.. I lost my mommy may 08. She was my everything! I believe they know whats going on around them. She felt your presence and heard your words!

It dont seem real to me until like you said, something happens funny or sad and my first response is to pick up the phone and dial her number. I kept the phone on for over a yr. It was harder to keep it ringing knowin she wasnt going to pick up.

I miss her laughter the most.. she had a giggle that made you laugh even if you had no clue of what she was laughin at.. contagious it was.. she had eye surgery about five yrs ago and we cry when we laugh ..

I can still hear her tellin me Stop it angel! It hurts when i cry, all the while makin me laugh harder. We were blessed with lovin caring humorous mommies.. cherish the memories and carry on the best you can! Keep your head up! In closin Id like to say thank you for sharing, made me cry but it is a good cry. You have a blessed life!

5 months
by: Anonymous

I'm very sorry to hear about your mom, i can tell you, i know how you're feeling because i lost my mom 5 months ago. People who have not had the loss of a parent will never understand the eternal grief that we will share for the rest of our lives.

My god do i miss my mom so much and when i think of the holidays coming it just makes me sad. Her cooking, her smiles and the traditional things she did will remain in my heart forever. I can't imagine what the next 5 months will bring? More tears and sadness i'm sure. God bless you and good luck.

Yes!!!
by: Laura

I am sure your mom knew you and your sisters were there. I volunteer at a comfort care home for the dying and that is what they always tell us-the dying know you are there. I held my Dad's hand a year ago today as he died- we had to take him off the ventilator. I like to think he passed knowing his family was all around him. May God Bless you.......

Loneliness is Hard
by: Debbie

Hello my friend, I too lost someone very special, just this past February. He was the love of my life. I have lots of pain and hurt, but I now know that he is peacefully resting. He too suffered from an illness.

I have come to terms with it now, I know it's only been over 2 months now, but I understand that God has his plan for all of us. Only He knows the time of our death. My love is in Heaven and I am good with that. It will always hurt and I will always shed tears over his loss. No more selfish thinking for me. He no longer suffers, and that is truly a blessing.

I miss him like crazy but am going to be okay. Nothing can bring him back, so I must also move on in my life. He would have wanted me to continue doing good in life. My comfort comes in knowing that I will be with him again someday, when my time is done here on earth.

Give Time, Time
by: Anonymous

Dear Tina,

I am so very sorry for your loss. A month is a very short time for anyone to expect you to "get on with your life," however, having lost my son two months ago, I know that many people do expect that.

My gosh, at one month, you're probably still experiencing the fog that we find ourselves in following the death of our loved one. Others don't get it because, until they experience a profound loss like ours, they won't get it. Forgive them and find at least one person who does allow you to talk, feel, cry or just be silent when you need to.

Give time, time. It has been helpful to me to attend a grief support group specific to my son's death where I can cry, feel, talk, say my son's name over and over if I want, where people understand the "mess in my mind" because they are there too.

I wish you well. LC

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