I miss my Mother so very much
My Mother was my best friend, my strenght and I loved her
so much. It was 8 of us, I was next to the oldest. I always looked forward to doing nice thing for my Mom, ever since I was a kid. She was at my wedding, she was there when I had my first kid. When I moved from our home town, I always called my Mom, and I always drove, back and forth home to see my Mother. I just had to see her. I always gave her gifts, it did not have to be anything special, I just wanted to see the look in her face, and see her smile. Because to me, everyday was Mother's Day. My mom died this past October, she had heart failure. I feel so guilty because every night I was by her side, I left to go get breakfast, and they called me to tell me my Mother had died. God, I was so devistated, I was not there, I was not by her side to say goodby. I wanted to be there to tell her how great a Mother she was. I wanted to tell her thank you for being the greatest mom ever. Although, I have told her this so many times. I just wanted to be by her side when she went home to be with the Lord so she would not feel she was alone; but I was'nt and I feel so guilty, I cannot stop feeling this way, and I cannot stop crying. I want to not feel guilty.....