I miss my mother

by Sue Perreca
(Norwalk CT)

My mother died on June 26 at 11:45am. My father, her husband of 58 years and her four children were at her bedside after having spent the night with her in her hospice room.

She was the only person in the world to me. Everyone else was just not her. It's hard to explain.

A few years before she died, the realization that it was coming--the world without my mother. Could the world even exist? Could I breathe without her? I just could not image her not being at the house, or on the other end of the phone. I could not imagine my father without her. As my father said last week, "Mommy doesn't die; other people die but not Mommy." Yeah, that about says it all.

My mother who was so filled with life--all its pain, fear, joy, brilliance--does not die. But she did. She ended. She is no more. Nobody will make me laugh the way she did; nobody will love me the way she did---nobody.

The pain of loss is particularly acute tonight what makes it so bad is that she is the only one I want to tell about how much I miss my mother.

Comments for I miss my mother

Click here to add your own comments

Oct 21, 2013
Missing My Mother Too
by: Becky

My heart understands your pain. My Mother passed away on Aug. 1, 2013. She had leukemia, but we did not expect her to die the day that she did. She went to the hospital for a scheduled blood transfusion, and things started going wrong. My parents were married almost 57 years, and it is painful to watch my Dad mourn for my Mother. I was my Mother's girl, and I could tell her anything. Like you, I miss calling her when I need her. We talked on the phone every day. I know there are no words that will give you comfort. I do take comfort in knowing that my Mother is in heaven and that she is not sick. I know that some day I will see her again. We will have a lot of catching up to do. I listen to the band Mercy Me, and they have two songs that bring comfort to my heart. One is "I Can Only Imagine" (about seeing Jesus & what it will be like), and the other one is "Move", (about being in heaven some day for we are not here to stay). I can only imagine what it will be like when I see my Mother again, all well, alive, happy, no tears, no pain, & no sorrow!
I will pray for you. I know the pain of feeling alone and feeling like you have lost the only person that loved you more than anyone else. The sudden ache in your heart to hear your Mom's voice, and to share a special day that you had with her. The loneliness that you feel when night comes.
I am truly sorry for the loss of your Mother. She will always be with you because she is forever in your heart.

Oct 21, 2013
I miss my mother
by: Doreen UK

Sue I am so sorry for your loss of your mother. I spent time always wondering what I would do without my husband. He was one of these people who you felt should and would live a long life into his 80's as his family have longevity. Then I got this wave of panic and changed my thoughts. Then in 2009 I got the devastating news that my husband had terminal lung cancer. He worked with asbestos and he got the worst cancer which was incurable inoperable, and aggressive. I nursed him for over 3yrs. and he died 17 months ago. It is the worst sorrow anyone can go through. I know what you mean in how you expressed your grief. Only other people die. Love does this. It makes us feel that we will have our loved one's forever in our life. We daren't even think of death in case it spoilt our comfort and shattered our security. The thing we fear the most happened. We lost the loved one that was closest to us and it hurts like H--L.
All you can do is TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. Just live for that day and don't look ahead till you are able. I have gotten through my grief this way. Grief is on going, but the pain should get less. There will always be triggers to throw us down again and again. But we get up and live for those we have left in our life and in our world as we know it. The loss is immense. The emptiness in the atmosphere says it all. My comfort is in knowing this is just the end of this life. There is a new life coming when Jesus comes back to this earth for us as He promised. THIS IS MY HOPE! I hope you have an eternal Hope that will give you the motivation to go on each day.

Oct 21, 2013
I am so right there with you
by: Wess

I am so sorry for your loss. What got me with your sharing was the comment about your Mom being the only one you would want to tell about how much you miss your Mom. I am in tears right now as I can so relate. My mom was my best friend, really my only friend, the only one I could truly share and trust. She passed away, I still can't say died yet, March 6th of this year. All her kids, 6 of us, were by her bedside as she took her last breath. I feel so lonely and loss without her. I am reaching out to you to share that you are not alone. It's such a roller coaster of pain; really sad days, moments, and days where I trudge on... I know that our Mom's would want us to not perseverate on them and to carry on living a life of love and happiness... I try to keep telling myself this and, perhaps, one day I will attain that state of being... for now, it's moment to moment, second to second... On top of it, I was bequeathed her little Daschund who recently lost the use of her hind legs... The pain is magnified a zillion times greater knowing her precious sweet doggie is not happy and can't walk. I am unsure what to do. It's overwhelming... I catch myself wanting to call or waiting for a call from Mom so I can share with her my sorrow... Well, I just thought I'd reach out to you and let you know you are definitely not alone...Do one sweet, kind thing for yourself - everyday... You have a friend here... Take care, ~Wess (a.k.a Wendy :)

Oct 21, 2013
Dear Sue
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss. I could have written your post word for word, except I would be writing about my Dad. He passed away on January 14. He suffered sudden cardiac arrest, and was gone in an instant. I wake up every morning and it still takes me a few minutes to realize that he is gone, and it's not some horrible nightmare. Even after nine months, the grief is still unbearable, and there are days that I cannot even function. I miss him so much, and there is so much I want to talk to him about. The only advice I can offer you is to take things slowly, grieve in whatever way you need to, and be kind to yourself. I hope you find some comfort here- you are not alone. Peace, Barb

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Moms.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!