I miss my son ....
When i was 16 yrs old i got pregnant. I came from a home of sexual and physical abuse. My babies father was deep into drugs at the time i found out i was pregnant.
I think of my baby all the time , i wish i could turn back time and change my decision. I wish i had given birth to my child. I wish i could hold them and tell them how sorry i am . I was the most horrible experience in my life. I think of my baby everyday. I still love his father in my heart. We were just in a place where we were lost and no one tried to guide us in the right direction, instead they just helped me scar my entire life. I will never get over my baby , ever. I pray often that god has forgiven me and i hope my baby has. I have abused myself with drugs and alcohol to try to kill the pain. Nothing works..I wish i could talk to his father, tell him i am sorry, i wish i could see his grandmother and ask forgiveness, I wish i knew why my mom didn't care, why she took me to the abortion clinic and paid them to kill her grand kid.Why no one stood by me....i was a kid and now i am haunted by the loss of my baby..i just wish i could make this go away but i guess i am trapped with the guilt....I love you son....i hope i see you in heaven and you still love me.
I hope you forgive me...........All my love,