I miss my son ....

When i was 16 yrs old i got pregnant. I came from a home of sexual and physical abuse. My babies father was deep into drugs at the time i found out i was pregnant.
I think of my baby all the time , i wish i could turn back time and change my decision. I wish i had given birth to my child. I wish i could hold them and tell them how sorry i am . I was the most horrible experience in my life. I think of my baby everyday. I still love his father in my heart. We were just in a place where we were lost and no one tried to guide us in the right direction, instead they just helped me scar my entire life. I will never get over my baby , ever. I pray often that god has forgiven me and i hope my baby has. I have abused myself with drugs and alcohol to try to kill the pain. Nothing works..I wish i could talk to his father, tell him i am sorry, i wish i could see his grandmother and ask forgiveness, I wish i knew why my mom didn't care, why she took me to the abortion clinic and paid them to kill her grand kid.Why no one stood by me....i was a kid and now i am haunted by the loss of my baby..i just wish i could make this go away but i guess i am trapped with the guilt....I love you son....i hope i see you in heaven and you still love me.
I hope you forgive me...........All my love,

Comments for I miss my son ....

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May 20, 2013
Your son
by: Anonymous

The only thing that will help you is yourself! Drugs and alcohol ware off its very hard facing your problems and dealing with and accepting your decisions but once you do you will feel whole again. Unfortunately some parents make decisions for their children that they believe are the best for them. You need to forgive yourself and forgive your mother. Don't forget but forgive.

Apr 10, 2013
Take Heart
by: Anonymous

I was very touched by your post, and I want you to know that no matter what mistakes you have made, God loves you. You are his daughter, and he understands when we make choices that we don't entirely understand the consequences to. It is obvious that you are remorseful and heartbroken over this, and I am sure that God sees that and forgives you. Especially when you were pressured into what happened and you didn't really understand the magnitude of what you were doing.

I know that your little baby is in heaven, and I'm sure that he can see your suffering too. It probably makes him very sad to see you this way. I'm sure that he forgives you too, and there will be a time when he will be able to come to earth again.

Take heart, and know that there are so many reasons to have hope. Here is a video that may be helpful to you:

If you ever need someone to chat with or have questions about God and repentance, I can lead you to information that will be very healing and helpful to you. My email is sarahbeard1@yahoo.com.

Apr 10, 2013
I miss my son ........
by: Doreen U.K.

Dear broken hearted lost soul. You are in such a place of turmoil and pain and guilt right now for having made a decision to have an abortion. You are a young girl and you sound mature enough to now feel the pain and loss of having made a decision you now regret. We make CHOICES every day and hope they will be the right one's. We all live with regrets and sometimes spent half a lifetime regretting them and this stops us living in the present. So you feel you made a mistake. You are probably very angry with your mom right now for not helping you to keep your baby. You may have felt pressured to do this and now this pain won't go away. Try if you can to take yourself off to a counsellor and get the right support to help you move beyond this pain and loss and also the guilt. Otherwise the guilt will eat you up. don't worry too much about WHO YOU NEED TO FORGIVE YOU. just take care of one thing at a time. Don't let this decision swallow you up to the degree you find it hard to move on each day. Professional help will help you move forward.
Don't forget to go to God. Ask God's forgiveness for the abortion. Then after counselling you may want to ask forgiveness of the father of that unborn child. You are not obligated to. This is your body and your life and your decision. You can't afford to take on the world right now and try to right a wrong decision. Ask God to help you to FORGIVE YOURSELF. Never let anyone control you or pressure you to do anything you don't want to do. Be faithfull and true to yourself first. You need to build up your self esteem and you will see no one has the right to take away your power of choice. You will in TIME be able to forgive yourself for the abortion. Grief takes time to Heal from. Do one good thing for yourself each day and build on this till you start to built up your self esteem. You will feel better in time with the right support. Best wishes. I am sorry for your loss.

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