I Miss Rudy!

by Robin R Ortiz

My brother Rudy passed away in his sleep on February 27th, 2013 he was only 57. I miss him so much! He is the 2nd child of 6 and I'm the 4th. The day before he passed we spoke on the phone and the last words we said to each other was "I Love You" like we always did. Thank the Lord we did. But now I will never hear him say it to me again.

That morning I received a call from my older brother telling me that Rudy had died. I could not believe it. It was like my world had stopped. I called my son to pick me up and drive me to my parents house where my brother lived. The OMI waited for me to get there so I could say Good-Bye. When I saw him there lying on the floor I was in shock, not my bother. You always here of death and feel bad for the person grieving but you never know how you are going to feel until it happens to you. I thought I would be the strong one in the family and it turns out I'm not. I want to talk to Rudy, I want to hear him answer the phone when I call my parents house, but he never does. I can't stop crying. I can't stop thinking of how we are now only 7 of 8. We are not complete anymore. I just want the world to stop and feel my pain like me. But the world does not stop. Today I'm going to see a grief counselor and next week a support group. I'm hoping that it will get easier instead of harder. Since Rudy passed it seems to have gotten harder than easier.

Comments for I Miss Rudy!

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Mar 22, 2013
I Miss Rudy!
by: Doreen U.K.

Robin I am sorry for your loss of your brother Rudy. It is a very hard battle when someone you love dies. WE do think of others when they die and feel for the family. But when Death visit us it is a whole different story. For once in our life we feel a PAIN exploding within us like we have never experienced before. A pain called Grief that goes on for days, weeks, and months into years and we wonder when it will get better. Each day feels like an assault on our body and mind. Not seeing our loved one anymore. Not hearing their voice. Forgetting what their voice sounded like. Not sitting with them at dinner time. We suddenly feel the emptiness and lonliness like nothing we have ever felt before. It comes from deep within our soul. Death leaves us with a deeper sensitivity towards another's death and how the other person is feeling losing their loved one. This is something we can't imagine. It hurts to see life go on for other's whilst ours has stopped.
You will feel as if you can't go on anymore. WE do all have a strength deep within us that help us cope. But even strong people have their weakness so don't hide this. Be yourself. I am happy you are seeing a grief counsellor. This is a wise move. You will find yourself moving forward better until the pain gets less. You will also find support and also be a support to other's in a grief group. This is also a place where you will heal from your loss. You will get through this grief better with the good support structure you have in place.

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