I miss you dad

by Virginia

It's hard I never lost someone so close before, I know of death because when I was five my grandmother died and my grandfather at age ten from my mothers side. I still have both grandparents from my dads side they live out of the country and haven't seen them in years. They are over 70 and I expected that any day now I was going to lose them. I tried to listen to my dad because he called once a week a Friday and would give me an update on their health. My dad. Was so caring for them he was such a great son like no other. Last night I saw him dead laying in bed as if he was sleeping. I kissed him, and hugged him tight as if I was a little daddy's girl but the reality was different he was gone. I couldn't believe this man who was always there no matter what was gone. He was truly a great dad he always put his family first. I am 27 and he was 57 I expected him to be with me til he was perhaps 90 and I 60 growing old into retirement age in a farm, he loved the farm life. I thought that my parents would stay with me til they grew old together and I with them. I wanted to save money to buy a ranch home to enjoys the rural living. I have two sons age 34months and 8 months and he was suppose to show them about the ranch life. I always saw that future everything perfect because even though we had harsh times with money we were happy and together. My mom was so in love and still is and their love surpass death it self. My younger sister only 19 she is screaming why and why. All I have is a blank look because I don't know either my mom was heart broken her lifetime partner is gone she is only fifty and was the perfect housewife. She always had my dads lunch ready for him. I see my mom, sister and I in a dark hole unable to get out with the big question why? This is not possible it's a bad dream right? My dad is at work right now and will be coming in with his lunch box through the back door saying hello where are my grandkids how's my wife and beautiful daughters. I love you dad, how I wish I had more time to enjoy our lives with our kidos. What am I going to tell my kids that their tata is gone. He can't be, there was nothing wrong with him how could he fall asleep and never wake up how it's not true, I want my dad for him to hug me tight and protect me. Dad why?

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Feb 03, 2013
I miss you dad
by: Doreen U.K.

Virginia I am sorry for your loss of your Dad. Your mom has lost a husband and it is a different type of grief. I am sorry for all of you. The pain is horrendous. To suddenly have a loved one in your life and now all the daily routine of them is gone forever. Our world has shattered and changed forever. Although you are grown up with children of your own you never outgrow your need for your father. My father is 91yrs, so I expect to lose him one day soon. But my husband. He suffered a serious lung cancer caused by working with a chemical and we were married 44yrs. He died after 3yrs.39days and I nursed him through this cancer all the time looking into the sad face of a man I loved who was slowly dying and didn't want to. My husband died 10 months ago from this cancer and my world too is shattered. I know how your mom feels. My 3 Adult children lost a father. It is unbelievable. To not see them coming into the home and doing all the familiar things we get so used to each day. This is a hard battle of grief. Sometimes I can't believe he has gone and feel as if I am dreaming. It is such a weird feeling as if my world has stopped and I am somewhere else in a strange place I don't know and some things are the same and other things not. Life feels like being in a haze, some sort of fog that will clear up. For all of us grieving a loss it is a stage we go through to heal from our loss. But it is long and tedious. Fraught with sorrow and pain till we can see our days get better in time. I wish you Peace in your sorrow and grief.

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