i miss you grandma

by emily istas
(kc, mo, usa)

My grandma, my best friend, someone i could got to about anything i lost her. It has been exactly one week since that terrible day october 25 2012. She had ovarian cancer and we all thought she was doing fine... But she started getting sick, i think from the chemo, her kidneys were not functioning properly although of course when she got put in the hospital the last time i thought she would get out just like normal but she didnt ahe had to pass away there :'( i miss her with all my heart and i wish i could talk to her on the phone like i did every night. Its so hard because i feel like sometimes i didnt pay enough attention to her like when i would go to her house i wouldnt sit with her i usually went to watch tv in the other room... When i was younger it was a different story i always wanted to be around her . Im fifteen now and i was getting to big for my britches i thought i was invincible. Over the summer i got my first boyfriend and i spent basically everyday with him when i should of been spending it with my wonderful grandma. I lost a lot of time with her just from that. I regret it so much and just want her back. If i could just go back in time things may turn out different but i cant. Just need some closure and help getting back to normal. I know we will see each other in heaven but its gonna be difficult for me forever. Somedays i am afraid that i will forget her voice or her laugh and things like that i am afraid i will forget the precious memories with her that would crush me.. i also feel bad for my grandpa he misses her so much too and he cries all the time it makes me cry too seeing him hurt like that. He loves her with all his heart. I know i will see her up on heaven and we will all get to spend forever with her but it is hard letting go.. RIP Grandma Becky!! Have fun with your sis, mom an
d daddy up in the sky til we get there!!
Love you forever xoxoxo, emily

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Nov 02, 2012
I miss you grandma
by: Doreen U.K.

Emily I am sorry for your loss of your grandma.
You are so very young to have to go through this loss, but it sounds as if you have been here before having lost other relatives. Part of your grief is you beating yourself up for not spending more time with your grandma. You say you spent more time with her when you were young. You will have these memories to help you in your grief. You have a boyfriend and it is normal to spend time with him. You had a priority and so you did what you thought was right. Your grandma would have understood this and also made allowances for this. Sometimes just being in the presence of someone is a comfort to them, even if you were just watching TV. I know that I would love this also. I have 2 very young grandchildren. Not old enough for them to develop a relationship with them. I only see them once every few months and this is not long enough to establish a relationship or for them to get to know me as grandma, but I have to accept what little I get. I hope that you will be well supported in your grief and that you will Heal from your Sorrow and loss.

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