I miss you Jay

by Rose

It was early in the morning in July 1999(a little before 3 a.m. to be exact), that my Mom answered the phone. On the end a cool calm collective crazed ex-girlfriend of my brother Jason saying,"Get here fast, Jason's not breathing". Needless to say screams were started did you call 911...I'm on my way...before I knew it my brother was dead...but not just dead. ..murdered. ..poisoned...poisoned by an ex . He was only 26. I was 12.. I didn't want to know anyone dead, not yet. I didn't want my brother to be dead. It wasn't true. How could she have poisoned him. How did she put pills in his drink. That day my life forever changed.

I forever grieve in July. I'm no longer 12. I am now 27. However my wounds from his death are as sharp as yesterday. My husband says that I don't deal with death well. I think I do. It's just who really handles losing their brother or sister, or guardian to murder well?

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Jul 12, 2014
I miss you Jay
by: Doreen UK

Rose none of us handle death very well. WE don't know what to expect from grief and how bad this grief pain is when we lose a close family member. The type of death affects our grief and so I think it is now time for you to consider seeing a grief counsellor. What could have happened is that you REPRESSED your grief because you were so young and didn't understand what happened to your family when all this chaos was happening. You were confused and just blocked it out. It is now pressing for resolution and you don't know what to do. A good counsellor will know how to bring everything to the surface so many of the memories around that time years ago can have a chance to come to the surface and out of your system. I have done this grief work so know it does work. It is painful but the Healing is amazing. What you are feeling now won't just go away by itself. I hope you get the support you need right now. You will recover from your grief once you have faced it and give the Healing process time to work.

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