I miss you Mommy, my best friend.

by Lesley

My Mom had an aortic aneurysm, doctors had watched it's progress for about 4 years. Surgery is not usually done until the aneurysm reaches 5cm or more in size. On Valentine's Day 2011 my mom went into the hospital for surgery to repair it. I was very worried and I asked her if she thought she really wanted to do this, she said yes, I am ready. She was tired of worrying if it would rupture. Mom was prepped for surgery, she had 2 IV's and an arterial line and an epidural as well. My brother was there with us too, as they were taking my Mom to the OR for surgery, I walked the whole way beside her, I told her they would take care good care of her, and that I loved her. She looked at me and smiled, she said I love you too. Doctor came out later and said the surgery went very well and that she was in recovery. We were not allowed to see her until she was in ICU. She looked so weak and pale but otherwise was doing well. The next day my brother and I arrived early to see Mom, the ICU nurse came in and talked to us, Mom was asleep. The nurse explained that they had tried to get my mom up to try to walk a little but that she could not feel her left leg, they decreased her pain meds and removed the epidural, thinking the epidural had her legs numb. After all that, she could not stanb or bear any weight and could not sit up on side of bed, she couldnt balance herself. They said she had more than likely had a spinal chord stroke. I didn't even know this could be a possibility, never heard of it. My Mom was paralyzed. I couldn't tell her, I didn't know how to tell her. shortly after while still in this hospital, my mom had one thing after another happen, she eventually developed an unstageable bedsore on her bottom, she also got Guillain Barre Syndrome and became so very sick that her upper body was paralyzed and she couldnt swallow. She eventually recovered a little from the GBS. I repeatedly asked the nursing staff to turn and reposition my mom so she would not develop a bedsore. They acted like I was crazy. Eventually she was transferred to a nursing home where she had to undergo numerous debridements and surgeries for the bedsore, and she still remained paralyzed. She had one infection after the next and became morbidly depressed. She passed away in July one night in her sleep. I was working a full time job and going to see her everyday that I had off, I have kids and I am married. I had never been so wore out in my life. It was so hard to watch my mom go through all of this, what we thought was gonna be a week long stay in the hospital for this surgery turned into a nightmare from hell that took my Mommy from this earth. It's been 7 months and I still do not feel any better or have closure. I miss my mom so bad, I have never lost someone close to me before. My mom was my best friend, she loved me unconditional. She took care of my daughter so I could work until she got in school, my daughter misses her Mamaw so very much, she always says no one can make cornbread like my Mamaw. My Mommy was the center of our lives and I am so lost without her but I know I will see her again one day, God has promised.

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