I miss you my sisters

by robin hensley
(Manchester, Ky.)

In April 2013 I lost my older sister and in june 2013 I lost another sister to cancer. Two years before I lost my brother to a heart attack. I took care of my sister with cancer for 4 years. I work full time but only missed 2 appointments in that time period. There are days when I get so mad at myself because I really dont know which one to cry for. Im in such a slump and try to be happy,especially at work, but i cry myself to sleep often. No one knows the heartache i have. I was hoping 2014 would bring my family and heart some comfort only to find out another sister is dying with cancer. God, where does it stop. My heart cant take much more.

To make things worse, my younger sister" who i am closer to than anyone" wont speak to me because she got her feelings hurt at one of the funerals. I depended on her for comfort but now I cry for her all the time. I miss her as bad as the ones that have passed.

Not sure how to deal with these feelings. I work in mental health but its different because I listen to people every day and I just want to scream sometimes ''I have lost a lot more than you so deal with it" I know, not professional, but its how I feel sometimes.

Comments for I miss you my sisters

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Apr 14, 2014
miss your sisters
by: lerato

Its very sad and frustrating I know and understand what you are going through. Be strong. God will heal you oneday and you'll over come the pain you are going. To loose someone its an unforgotable pain but take your own time to heal. Cause healing its a process.

Apr 13, 2014
Feel so alone
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss of your mother and your 2 brothers. No matter how old you are you will feel like an orphan because you don't have your parents or your siblings. Your children won't understand this unless they lost a sibling and I hope to God they never go through this experience. It would also make you feel vulnerable to losing your children.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. to cancer almost 2yrs. ago and I felt very vulnerable to losing my children. I couldn't bear this loss. When you have no real support structure you can feel like the loneliest person in the world, despite having children and grandchildren. They are all living their own lives, and not always available.
There is a verse in the Bible which says "When father and mother forsake you the Lord will take you up." I believe this but I also reply to God that living on the earth we need live people around us and in our world. God knows we can't survive well in isolation. But it is how grief makes us feel. Having God in one's Life doesn't leave us comfortless. God sends us His Holy Spirit "The Comforter". He is with us always. WE have this Blessed Hope of seeing our loved one's again. This is our Comfort. But it still hurts when we lose our family. I often think of JOB in the Bible losing his 10 children and wonder how he felt and coped with this. We know how Martha and Mary felt when they lost Lazarus. Even Jesus hurt and wept over his death. May God be close to you at this time and draw near to you and lift you up from this lonely pit of grief and sorrow and give you His Comfort and Peace.

Apr 13, 2014
Feel so alone
by: Anonymous

You came to the right place I totally understand what your going through. I'm 54yrs old and am the youngest I lost the last of my three brothers last Mother's Day. Before that my Mom had pneumonia & I live out of State so I would go to see her every chance I had it was 4hr drive not too bad. She was on a respirator but was conscious the last time I saw her I told her I would be back the following weekend, but she shook her head and said no I had no other choice because even though I had permission from work I was not getting paid for the time I was out. My ex was no help financially we were still married at the time. I cried all the way home I was very close to her and when she needed me the most I couldn't be there. A few days later I was in the parking lot getting ready to walk into work when my phone rang and I was told she had passed away I have never forgiven myself. After that is when I ended up losing my two other brothers. I don't have a support system because all my kids feel like their gone stop grieving you still have us and your grandchildren which is true but I feel like an orphan. Please try your best to make up with your sister you both need each other always no matter what God has given me my strength to carry on and because of my faith in the Lord I know I will see all my love ones again. Don't feel guilty about not knowing which one to cry for just let your tears flow whenever it hits you it can be the smallest thing, but remember they are always with you in your heart and in our memories. God bless you and give you the strength during this difficult time in your life.

Apr 13, 2014
I miss you my sisters
by: Doreen UK

I am sorry for your loss of your siblings to death and for the sister that is not in your life now.
I don't know why it is? But after losing loved ones to death, life turns sour and you can often lose a lot more people, just when you need them the most. Many people go through this experience and I just can't work it out. My son walked away after I buried his father. On the day of the funeral he didn't come back. He just got married and was besotted with his wife whilst I maintained a relationship with his EX. I had enough love for everyone, but what I wouldn't do is to let anyone dictate to me who I can have a relationship with despite their feelings towards that person. Our upset was about who was riding in the funeral cars.
I have done the counselling and in a mentally stronger place. I also did 8yrs. voluntary work in a Mental Health Facility, and I supported clients. Many of us go to counselling thinking of the counsellor who is this super human being who is going to make it all right for us. After counselling I learnt about BOUNDARIES and even if I have the perception I couldn't rescue a counsellor as it would make the whole counselling experience FAIL. In one session my counsellor had to take a call. I discerned she was waiting for medical test results that may be serious. But I couldn't support her. I wanted to. I do understand your frustration and pain having to support people whilst hurting so deeply from your own losses. Counsellors are people who hurt and bear pain and go through the same life issues and have no magic cure but to listen and guide an individual into their Healing. Often we can't help ourselves. Times we have to reach out to others who have skills to help us resolve our own issues EVEN a professional. I liked especially reading Scott M Pecks (psychiatrist) book where he was vulnerable enough to share his own pain and healing journey from his issues he had to resolve in his life. Being human means none of us has an easy life. Often time heals wounds and one gets to re-engage in relationship from a fallout. But sometimes this can't happen for various reasons. e.g. trust and respect issues being harder to resolve. I hope the weeks and months ahead help you to Heal from your pain and sorrow and find your way back into life and better Life experiences.

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