I Miss you Pop!

by Vikki
(Bakersfield, CA)

We lost our beloved Pop on August 7th at about 2:50am. Luckily we were able to spend the preceding week with him prior to his passing. Thankfully, we found a wonderful Dr. who came to his home and tried unsuccessfully to get him to go to the hospital. That is not what he wanted, he refused to go, he saw how my Mom suffered for two years with cancer, he wasn't going to go that way. Our angel Dr. respected his wishes, she came to the house on August 1, 2013 and examined him as best she could, she advised us he was most likely in final stages of liver cancer and did not have much time. She arranged for hospice services and we are so thankful for this. He hung in there, we helped him as best we could with antibiotics (he had a horrendous UTI) and pain meds. Once the nurses inserted a catheter, we believe he was finally able to achieve some level of comfort, he thanked me for taking care of him, I will never forget that, I stayed with him every night for the entire week. I still feel like I am in a surreal, dreamy state it just happened so fast I do not think I have had time to actually grieve and compute what happened. He did it his way, no hospitals, we stayed with him at home until he passed on to be with my Mom. So thankful I could be there to help him, I love and miss him so very much. We love you Pop, so glad you are with Mom now and at peace. Now we just need to get our heads on straight and power on as you would want us to do. You were a great man, a hard worker and a real hard-working, honest man. We were honored to have you as our Pop. Thinking of you and Kobie (his loyal black lab) is doing wonderful at my sis's. My brother can't watch Nascar yet as that was their Sunday routine, we will make it through this and I am thankful Pop is no longer in pain. All my love and kisses Pop, we will miss you forever.

Comments for I Miss you Pop!

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Oct 02, 2013
I Miss you Pop!
by: Doreen UK

Vicki I am sorry for your loss of your Pop to a terrible disease of cancer.
I lost my husband to cancer 17 months ago. It is a disease that affects the whole family watching the suffering and the care involved. I nursed my husband for over 3yrs. with his cancer and had to watch him dies slowly. All the time seeing the pain of dying etched on his face. Sometimes it still feels so unreal. You live with someone in your family for years and interact with them and then suddenly they are not there and we have to carry on without them. This is a very cruel type of sorrow that will take us months and years to recover from.
I got through most of my grief ONE DAY AT A TIME. Often we have to plan some of our life ahead. I can't. I have to take life on a daily basis. It is more comfortable then to face each new day.
My husband didn't want to die in the hospice. I gave him his wish despite what the doctors wanted. My husband died peacefully at home with all his family around him. Everyone had gone home each night. My daughter had gone upstairs and I was on my own. I then saw my husband draw his last breath. I was so numb but greatful I did not get distracted by family around and so missed witnessing this as if I was given the privilege to not share this moment with anyone else. Within 30 seconds of dying my husband's only sister came through the door to hear me call out to my daughter that her dad had just died. It was such a surreal moment. I was just happy his suffering was over. His cancer pain was so bad that last day. I couldn't even get the proper care for him. Being a Saturday he died there was a skeleton staff on duty and they had to finish their clinic before someone could come out and give a pain killing injection. But I remember that day as if it was yesterday. Some memories are just there.
Best thing you and any of us can do is to TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. This is how I got past the last 17 months. It will take time for us to grieve our loss but we do recover each day.

Oct 01, 2013
Shared grief somehow helps
by: Billie

I too know your loss, same cancer as well took my darling husband 11 days before his 41st birthday, cancer in the liver. For us it was Shawn's second battle with cancer, first diagnosed in 2006, but sadly it came back again, and Shawn passed over on the 10th September 2013. Like you all I am in that terrible raw state of grief, often disbelief, and finding this site is truly helping me right now. I know you pain and my heart goes out to you all, though we are strangers, we share that sad bond of grief. May God look down on us all, and help us all through this terrible time.

They are at peace, but how and when will feel more at ease.

God bless you all, and I am so sorry for your grief.

Billie UK

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