I miss you so much dad :(

by Vicky
(England)

My dad died very suddenly on the 16th of July from a heart attack aged 65. I am 22 years old and now the though of my life and future just seems so empty and bleak without him. My dad was such a kind,caring, loving and wise man and he helped me in so many areas of my life, and became my role model for both me and my sister. It has been nearly 3 months since it happened and I still can't get my head around the fact that he's gone :(
Throughout his life he had a series of health issues and when he was 39 he had a major heart attack which very nearly killed him then so from that day onwards we all made sure we told him just how much we loved him and appreciated him as the doctors told us it would happen again one day. Now that he's gone I can take comfort in knowing that I let him know each and every day just how much I thought of him and that I loved him beyond words but I would do anything just to bring him back and to tell him once more how much he really meant to us all :(. Now I have to look after my mum and help her- my dad was her everything and now she is completely destroyed and it's so upsetting to see her this way. My sister is much older than me and is extremely busy with 2 young children- I'm still living at home so at the minute I feel like I'm taking on 2 lots of grief. I love my mother dearly and have told her to talk to me and to cry on me when ever she needs and wants to but its just becoming so hard to see her like this :( I know time is the only healer and we just have to be there for one another but at the minute everything just seems impossible.
I love you dad always and forever thank you for everything and for making me who I am today. I hope you are watching down on us and you are at peace <3
xxx

Comments for I miss you so much dad :(

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Oct 20, 2012
Thank you Doreen
by: Anonymous

Hi Doreen, thank you very much for you comment and advice it's so nice to hear from someone who is going through the same. I'm sorry about the loss of your husband, although I lost my Dad quickly I am thankful that he did not suffer. Reading all of the comments to this post is heart warming and even in these times where you feel your worst its really comforting to have the support. I wish you all the best x x x x x x x

Oct 19, 2012
Stay Strong
by: Doreen U.K.

Dear Anonymous,
I read you post about losing you dad suddenly at 52yrs. You say your mum is devastated. You will have your own grief and way of handling this whether as a family or on your own with your own friends or family. e.g. cousins like my daughter did.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. marriage 5 months ago to lung cancer. Steve died a slow death over a period of 3 yrs. I know how devastated your mum feels. If your mum is showing signs of depression which can creep up so slowly, see that she gets professional help by way of grief counselling to help her cope with this tragic loss of her husband. The grief and pain of the loss of a husband is devastating, as is each individual loss to each of us. Your mum may feel supported by her brothers or sisters, or parents if they are still living. We each give different help to each other at difficult times and no one person has all the answers. We have to find our own level as we go from day to day with this terrible pain, and it is a long and hard road. I hope that you all have easier days ahead with your grief and that life will get better in time.

Oct 18, 2012
Thank you
by: Anonymous

Thank you everyone for your kind and caring comments it's helped me so much and means alot to me. I have found that sometimes I feel like I can cope and other days where I'm just not able to comprehend it. I still can't get my head around it :( Thank you Doreen for your great advice I will make sure my mum sees your comment. She has become very close to her brother and sister and they are helping her so much which is really great :)We all just need to know that we're not alone we have this great website and each other and our family and friends. Take care everyone. Keep strong we will get through it
xxxx

Oct 10, 2012
Me too
by: Anonymous

My dad was 66 when he died of a sudden heart attack, 8 weeks ago today. I just turned 40.

My daughter, brother, mum, step-mum and I are all grieving in different ways and we all have ups and downs at different times.

No matter that I am so much older than you, right now I feel like a little kid, very lost and missing my Daddy.

You will have good days and bad days, and the pain will come in waves, gradually coming less. I've heard it likened to a Tsunami, you will occasionally get an overwhelming wave too, but that will pass as the smaller ones do.

You will never forget your dad, just like I'll never forget mine.

Sending you good thoughts x

Oct 02, 2012
I miss you so much dad:(
by: Doreen U.K.

Vicky I am sorry for your loss of your dad: I lost my husband to cancer 5 months ago. I have 3 Adult children. They lost their father who was still young at 65yrs. They are grieving but the youngest 31yrs. still lives at home and is grieving more. the other 2 are older and married. one has 2 children.
I am in your mum's place grieving the loss of my husband. It was difficult at first as I felt abandoned and felt neglected by my children. But I am learning not to make demands of any of them. I do feel very lonely as your mum will be feeling also. It is a very painfull time for everyone in the family. My children preferred to grieve with their partners. My daughter grieved her own way with her friend. I had no one. At first I felt all alone with my grief. But my 3 sisters and brother-in-laws supported me and this helped immensely. If your mum has siblings she may prefer to seek her support in them so don't feel let down by this. But still remain close and support her in your own way remembering that you also need your own support and don't neglect this.

Oct 02, 2012
Stay strong
by: Anonymous

Hello, I've just read your story and I had to comment as I'm feeling exactly the same. I lost my dad suddenly a month ago, he had a heart condition but it all happened so quickly. He was okay, working and leading a normal life and then 4 months later he died. He was only 52 and I'm 23. I just can't believe he is gone. My mum is devastated as he was everything to her. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone and although there is nothing anyone can say (I know) we'll get through it. I wish you and your family all the best. xxxxxx

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