I Miss You
My Grandad passed away very suddenly in hospital after we thought he was getting better. I have just celebrated my first birthday without him here and I feel so alone. He and I were so close. I miss hearing him talk to me. I miss hearing him say my name and laugh with me at our silly jokes. He always called me "his lovely girl" and the fact that no one will ever call me that again is breaking my heart.
I have no guilt about the way my life was spent with him. I never went a day without telling him I loved him. But it hurts so much not to have him here with me anymore. I dreamt about him hugging me last night, and it felt so real that I could feel the wool of his jumper against my cheek. I hate that it wasn't real.
I hope things get better with time, but for now it feels so unfair that my wonderful, lovely Grandfather who was so kind and believed in me more than anyone in the world has been snatched away from me before I even had a chance to say goodbye.