I must have cooties Or is it the "W" on my forehead?
by The lonely Widow
(embarrassed to say)
I wonder if I am the only one in attendance of this pity party. So, I think I am doing better.. Grief is no longer a constant companion, just an unwelcome visitor from time to time. Yet friends (?) make plans and break them...unreliable? Not a true friend? Or is my grief showing through eyes that don't lie? Or in this case my voice, Did it sound desperate as I attempted to meet for coffee at Target?
I am quite proud that I am just now attempting some semblance of social skills. The loneliness and companionship of my 12 year old is suffocating me.
I do not want another man, My heart still belongs to the one that has been gone for a year and a month 1/06/11. Just for me to attend Any function without intent on talking about my (dead) husband is, well is significant progress.
My opening line, had I been able to use it might have been: So what's going on with you? and then actually listen to someone else instead of my own breaking heart.
Not that people are putzes, just that in our condition (ongoing grief) the last thing we need is people that cannot or will not keep their promises...