I Never Said Goodbye

by Theresa Brogna
(Hood River, Oregon)

My beautiful son Kyle passed away 2 years ago. He was 21 years old. He had been an insulin dependent diabetic for 14 years. He never truly accepted his disease. He suffered from depression and began taking drugs to numb his pain. Eventually he became addicted to heroine. His father and I were horrified.

As a result of his addiction to drugs, he stopped taking his insulin. One night he fell into a diabetic coma and never woke up. We are still devastated. I still can't believe he is gone. A friend found him alone on his bed. My sweet baby died alone. Did he suffer? Was he scared? These are questions that race through my mind when I am trying to sleep. I numbed my own pain for awhile with alcohol, but have recently stopped drinking.

The pain is unbearable, but we get up each day and fight for some sense of normalcy. I am trying to face the pain, as I am sure many of you can understand. This journey is a hard one that I didn't ask for, but need to deal with to honor his life. I pray for my peace and the peace of all you dear people who have also suffered this loss.

Hugs

Comments for I Never Said Goodbye

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Sep 23, 2014
too many
by: Fran

My son died Aug 25. It might be too soon to write anything. Just reading your stories let's me know that this IS the worst. I pray for peace for all of us.

Aug 04, 2014
Your son
by: Gale

Hi Theresa,
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious son Kyle. My son Michael died on June 9th of an apparent heroin overdose - still waiting for the toxology report to come back. He had done this in the past (used heroin) got clean, found a girlfriend and they had a wonderful relationship for about 8 months. One night they decided to use (she has a 7 year old son) and they layed in bed together and never woke up. Both passed and unfortunately it was her son who found them.
Have you attended any therapy or groups for bereaved parents? I am currently in therapy and will be starting a support group for bereaved parents of adult children. I can't wait - I desperately need to hear from other moms who have experienced the same devastation as myself.
I wish you peace and please keep talking about it and working through it - hugs to you. Gale

Jul 27, 2014
Your son
by: Kate

My heart goes out to every one on here. Losing a child is the deepest pain ever. My son also took a drug and mixed with alcohol,it stopped his heart. Shocking. He did not even have a drug issue,went out with friends and this mixture took his life.
Everyone knew he drank beer but no drugs was not an issue. A one time try can take a life. Cocaine and alcohol create a third drug and it can stop the heart.
This is a little known fact,the dr said it is Russian roulette .
So for a year and a half I have been living in pain and sorrow.
I am sorry you know this deep hurt too. We can only take one day at a time as we walk this hard road. You are not alone,on here we understand and know.
I did not get to say goodbye to my son. His roommate found him. He had told him ' I don't feel so good' those were his last words. The roommate went to bed.
Nightmare . Each of us has one to face. This site helps us express our loss and pain. I'm sorry you too know this sorrow.

Jul 25, 2014
I Never Said Goodbye
by: Doreen UK

Theresa I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved son Kyle, at such a young age. It is so easy for young people to block out their pain with drugs that end up killing them. Hard to overcome this. I can understand how low a person can get and feel so hopeless and helpless. Unbearable pain for the parents to go through having to bury a child/Adult child. Being overdosed on drugs would have not allowed him to be scared or to feel pain. He would have just gone to sleep and not woken up. I had to tell my husband this when he was dying of cancer, and he was wondering what death felt like. I said." You just go to sleep and just don't wake up." It doesn't hurt. But he was hurt deeply by cancer pain. Medication came late whilst waiting for a clinic to finish before anyone could come out and give a dying man an injection for the pain. This adds to my grief. I still have images of his face on the day he died as I held him close to my heart. Oh how it hurts when you long to see them again. hear their voice. touch them. kiss them, and to say once again. I LOVE YOU! Dying is all around us and we can't stop it keep happening as we lose more people. Having to face our own MORTALITY. Life is Hard. I never said good-bye. I said. "See you in the morning."

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