I promised my dad that I would take care of him.

by Ashlina

I was 15 when my father passed away because of pancreatic cancer. I have been living separately from dad ever since i was born and i look forward to holidays and fridays(if i have school) to spend time with my dad.

It has been 4 years since his passing and i am feeling very depressed about it. I love him so much and even promised to take care of him once i get a decent job. Right now, it's just a wasted dreams. I am the youngest in my family of 4 sisters and i was the first to know about his condition. At that point of time, i knew things was bad. And it was the day where we were supposed to pick up the car he bought for himself a few months back. I cried infront of him like i never did and he must have felt so bad. I know it because he hugged me and said, " i will always take care of you." I never felt so scared to lose a father.

3 weeks later on April 21st, my dad was lying on the hospital bed with an oxygen mask and i told him i had to do my math homework. I was so confident that i would see him even though i knew he was scheduled to have an operation at 8pm. Little did i know, that was my last time seeing my father alive. I never had so much regrets in my life before.

4 years on, today, i am still struggling to cope over this loss. Everyday i replay the image of me saying goodbye to him to do my work and when i was woken up abruptly to find out that my dad had passed away. I struggle a lot and it is so difficult to move on. I can't even put in words about how i am feeling. Sad is just an understatement.

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Sep 28, 2014
Hi Ashlina, I need your help!
by: Jennie

I am so very sorry for your loss, my condolences. For better access to advice and support, please click on "The Grief Club" button on the left for access to the new Forum. We want to keep this great online grief resource going and need your help! Please re-post this or put a new submission there. All your friends are waiting...

Hi Pat from Green Bay, and Anonymous MI:

Could you please contact me via "Contact Us" button to the left? I need your help for the transition. Thanks so much!

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