I put up with so much, Its been a year and I still think of him every day

I knew from the moment I saw him that I wanted him, he was charming and sexy and just different. He made me laugh He knew every detail about my life things I had never shared with a guy before.
When things were good they were great, when things were bad... well, they were really bad. All of my friends didn't like him, they thought I could do much better and were confused at why I was so smitten. I was just drawn to him and couldn't get out. He was online sites a lot, I knew but was too afraid to ever bring it up to him, I was afraid he would leave me. I found a blog he wrote critiquing our sex life, I forgave him within the night even though I would cry after every time after.
He ended up moving away, we were in a long distance relationship, he went to the bars every night with his friends, I stayed up states away and worried. What is wrong with me why am I so pathetic, I ended up breaking up with him, he yelled and screamed at me telling me I would never find any one better than him, I secretly believe him. I have been single for a year 23 years old with a career, but Im afraid of relationships. I still think of him everyday and miss him, it makes me so mad. How can I get myself to move on, why do I still care about him..... I feel stupid.

Comments for I put up with so much, Its been a year and I still think of him every day

Click here to add your own comments

Nov 05, 2011
Two Tears.
by: Anonymous

Two tears met in a river
One tear asked 'who are you?'
The other replied "I am a tear from a woman who lost her love. And you?'
'I am the tear of the woman who found him.'
Author unknown

Aug 27, 2011
by: Judith

PLEASE stop this...you are not stupid but you must find your self respect again and refuse to believe this was good for you. HE obviously was controlling.

Please refuse to ever let someone make you give up all of yourself to them and them give nothing in return. Guys like him are crazy makers.

I'm sure there is a nice, Christian young man who will make life good for you both. I now of what I speak. I had a 30 year marriage with a man who hit me and made life crazy with his temper, never said I'm sorry and was distant and non-demonstrative of affection. I ended up being a caregiver to him for 4 years until he passed. I now am grieving and no matter how much I loved him, I can't get past the fact he was abusive to me and my son verbally and emotionally. I learned to fight back and stand up to his bullying and cowardice. HE learned to leave me alone.

It's all so sad now as I grieve and look back I should have never gone back to him after a separation early on thinking he would change. But I loved him more than myself and I vow to never do that again.

I'm going to do what I'm telling you and love myself and will probably be alone for a long time to reflect and learn from my 30 year mistake.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Relationship.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!