I really miss you mum

My mum had battled Diabetes for seven years. Last year, she got into a coma and was diagnosed with meningitis and hypertension. As if the Diabetes was not enough! Anyway, she recovered steadily until early this year when she started getting swollen feet. The doctor then said she had heart failure but gave her medicine saying she would get better.
It was just a week when I was at home and we were planning how we were going to farm this year. I remember that fateful night like it was yesterday. One phone call changed my life forever. Our caretaker called me saying I should look for a taxi to take her to hospital. The last words she said was that she had trouble breathing. She died in hospital on 28th June, 2014 and I wasn’t even there.
Am crying through every sentence am writing. I feel life was too unfair to us. Now that you have gone to be the Lord am left here; alone. Being an only child, I have always had my moments of loneliness. Now I don’t even know how to describe this feeling. Am all by myself. My friend, my confidant, my advisor, my dear mum of 28 years is gone. Home will never be home without you.
Life is busy, and everyone; aunties, cousins even friends have moved on. Some are even urging me to move on. How? The nights are almost unbearable. I miss you every second of the day.

Rest in his eternal arms, mum. Till we meet again.

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Aug 13, 2014
I really miss you mum
by: Jane

I am so sorry for loosing your Mom. the Mom is the only person who has born us, love us without any conditions, was our best friend, our hold, she was here just for everything. She was our loving mummy. It is so hard to believe, that she is gone. For ever. This "FOR EVER" is hurting too much. Now you feeling so helpless and lonly without her. I am feeling the same way. My brothers don´t even talk about our Mom, and I will keep all her memories alive. But there life goes on, as if our mom would´ve been never on this earth. That hurts me a lot. But I have to learn to let them grief their way. I do it my way. I still miss her so much. But time is going to change our grieving every day. There are coming small griefing waves or real big ones. The grieving is changing your whole life. You will never be the same person you were before your mom died. My best girl friend stayed now in the hospital for 2 weeks and feeling so worse. The doctor says she has to move to a hospitz. I know she never wanted this. She wanted not to suffer. She wanted before she has to suffer to kill her self. She had told me that. My feeling had stopped. I feel nothing. I cannot visit her til monday, because I am to far away right now. i cannot cry, my inside is death. It is feeling just nothing anymore. It stopped feeling, because it is all too much.But like you are writing. The world is turning further on. But for you and me and all who are grieving the world stopped turning. I just cannot believe that my mom is already 15 months gone. Somewhere my world has stopped to go on. But we have to learn to go little steps forward. Just take one day and don´t think about tomorrow. Just do what your soul and your body are needing. Learn to listen to your self, there you get the answer. Sometimes you can only cry. Than cry. Crying is okay. Crying is healing the grief. Aloud your self to live your own grieving way. May God hold his comfort hands over you. I´ll pray for you.

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