I still don't believe this
by Carol , Seans mom
Hello, It's Carol, Seans mom again. I still hear him. I still see him. I am horrified living in this life now. I love and miss Sean so much. I can not figure out how it is life just goes on and I have this huge hole in my heart. Sean was my oldest child and only son. Why does this happen. He was minding his own business sleeping so he could go to work. How cruel that he didn't even get to live his life. I know a big part of me died with him. My positive energy is gone. My patience with stupid comments is gone. I feel like I don't belong. I always boasted about my three children. Now I feel like someone kicked me in the head. My head throbs everyday. I never feel good anymore. I feel like I am not the mom to my girls I use to be. I know they grieve and they have to worry about their parents. Sean's dad and I aren't together but we are friendly and he struggles every day also. We are just in shock that Sean is not around. I miss everything about him! I can not accept this. I know he is gone, but I can not physically handle it. I am lost,sad,angry and confused. I feel like people already forget what we are going threw. Why did the world not stop for everyone. Don't they know my world ended. Don't they know I will never be the same.