I thought i could not cry

by Albert
( glendale new york)

After 62 years of married life together my best friend and wife at 82 years of age left to be with her maker 12 years ago she had one lung removed and for 10 years she was almost normal but 2 years ago she developed COPD and was put on oxygen 24/7. she died this May 13 I was her caretaker for twO years just the twO of us I thought i was tough but I still cry whenever i think of her and us together
i will be 88 this Sept and it will not be long until we are together we had five children but only one daughter lives local

Comments for I thought i could not cry

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Jul 08, 2014
To anonymous
by: Lawrence

HI
Losing a deeply cherished wife after sixty two years together makes you do things that you wouldn't normally do, but if taking roses to your wife in the cemetery eases your intense pain, it is so normal.
Don’t try to analyse your grief, the pain and anguish you are suffering, it is like nothing you have ever experienced in your life before, although I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that, just let it wash over you. and do what we all do which is to cry and cry..
I lost a precious wife on Christmas Day 2012 after being together for seventy years so I know exactly how you are feeling
Life loses all its meaning for a time, then the body and spirit adjusts to the loss, it has to otherwise I wouldn't be posting this comment to you.
You are obviously in your eighties like me, but may I make a suggestion.
DON’T stay in the house alone and grieve, get out do anything to occupy your mind.
I live a frantic life I, have learned to play bridge, which I can tell you wasn't easy at eighty five, I write books and compose music and am even taking violin lessons and practice for many hours difficult pieces of music, anything to stop the pain of losing the only girl I ever loved.
You may ask “Is it working?”
Not really, I am still heartbroken and miss her dreadfully and the walk up to an empty bedroom is still a nightmare, but life does become more tolerable as the months pass
We are both nearing the end of our lives, but I’m sure like me you must thank God for giving us the girl of our dreams, we are so lucky to have .had all those wonderful years together.
From one grieving widower to another.
My deepest Sympathy
Lawrence

Jul 02, 2014
I thought i could not cry
by: Anonymous

After reading all the comments I knew i was not alone. We were together for 62 years when she died this May.13 The cemetary where she is buried is only ten minutes from my home I visit her every day with one or two roses Am i being normal I do not know how i can keep it up

Jun 12, 2014
Deepest sympathy
by: Lawrnce

Dear Albert,
I was also married for 62 beautiful years and courted for eight years before we married, so we had seventy years. of being in love
My precious wife died on Christmas Day 2012, so the pain and anguish you are suffering is unbelievably overwhelming and nothing can make it any easier as we both know.
No matter how tough you think you are, this is a body blow unlike anything else you have suffered in your life before..
The feeling of helplessness and loneliness is horrible and the cold empty bedroom every night still makes me cry, even after eighteen months, I will never get used to It and I still stretch my hand out when I wake in the morning hoping it was just a bad dream and feel for her...
I have no words of comfort except to cry and cry as you are no doubt doing, and to do what I do every day which is to thank God for sixty two years of love and passion, we were both so very lucky, who on earth gets such a long time together.
Like you, say, we are nearing the end of our lives which surely has been blessed by meeting the girlof our dreams. and spending nearly all our life together.
There are no happy endings; this was bound to happen sooner or later, but somehow it is always too soon.
From one grieving widower to another.
My heartfelt sympathy
Lawrence


Jun 12, 2014
She is proud of you
by: Darrell S.

Albert,
I lost my Daddy(77) and he was married for 56 years leaving my mom. I have medical issues and I'm 44. My daddy still called me his little boy.
And your wife knows what you've done for her as did my daddy. I appreciate the respect love and dedication you have and hope that I can also do so for my wife.
I made a promise to take care of mom and I will to the best of my ability.

Jun 10, 2014
Deepest sympathy
by: Lawrence

Dear Albert,
I was also married for 62 beautiful years and courted for eight years before we married, so we had seventy years. of being in love
My precious wife died on Christmas Day 2012, so the pain and anguish you are suffering is unbelievably overwhelming and nothing can make it any easier as we both know.
No matter how tough you think you are, this is a body blow unlike anything else you will have suffered in your life before..
The feeling of helplessness and loneliness is horrible and the cold empty bedroom every night still makes me cry, even after eighteen months, I will never get used to It and I still stretch my hand out when I wake in the morning hoping it was just a bad dream and feel for her...
I have no words of comfort except to cry and cry as you are no doubt doing, and to do what I do every day which is to thank God for sixty two years of love and passion, we were both so very lucky, who on earth gets such a long time together.
Like you, say, we are nearing the end of our lives which surely has been blessed by meeting the woman of our dreams. and spending nearly all our life together.
There are no happy endings; this was bound to happen sooner or later, but somehow it is always too soon.
From one grieving widower to another.
My heartfelt sympathy
Lawrence


Jun 10, 2014
I thought I could not cry
by: Pat J.Green Bay,WI

Dear Albert,
I am so sorry for the loss of your wife of 62 years. You were quite blessed to have been together that long. Many of us don'take it that long. I know you are feeling lost and incomplete. To be together so many years and now to face the rest of your life alone is very hard.
I lost my husband of 46 years, on June 27, 2011. Our 46th wedding anniversary was on June 26, 2011. He had been in the hospital on and off from April 18th until his final discharge on June 25th. We were so grateful he was going to be home for our anniversary. Little did I know at 12:10 a.m. on June 27th, he would be gone. He had a massive heart attack sitting on the side of our bed. It was so quick; didn't realize he was gone.
You stated you are 88; it must be so very sad for you. I can only imagine. My husband was 67 when he died. i turned 67 this January and I retired at the end of January. My retirement isn't what I thought OUR retirement would be like.
I just thank God every morning for another day and ask him to guide me and show me the way. I talk to my husband everyday. In 17 days he will be gone 3 years and I often wonder how I have made it without him. After he died, I wanted to die also. One day I will be with him and I will once again be truly happy. I have 5 adult children and 8 grandchildren; yet there are times when I feel so lone. I feel a part of me died with him; as I know you feel the same.
Albert, all any of us who have lost a spouse can do, is slowly learn how to go on without them. We keep them tucked safely in our heart. You have come to a great site. There is always someone to read our posts and many post back; some quite often. We all are on the same journey and are willing to share thoughts with each other. The support really helps.
Happy Father's Day! Another difficult day without your love. We have many difficult days without our love, but we do go on.

Jun 10, 2014
grieving widower,
by: Lawrence

Dear Albert,
I was also married for 62 beautiful years and courted for eight years before we married, so we had seventy years. of being in love
My precious wife died on Christmas Day 2012, so the pain and anguish you are suffering is unbelievably overwhelming and nothing can make it any easier as we both know.
No matter how tough you think you are, this is a body blow unlike anything else you have suffered in your life before..
The feeling of helplessness and loneliness is horrible and the cold empty bedroom every night still makes me cry, even after eighteen months, I will never get used to It and I still stretch my hand out when I wake in the morning hoping it was just a bad dream and feel for her...
I have no words of comfort except to cry and cry as you are no doubt doing, and to do what I do every day which is to thank God for sixty two years of love and passion, we were both so very lucky, who on earth gets such a long time together.
Like you say, we are nearing the end of our lives which surely has been blessed by meeting the woman of our dreams. and spending nearly all our life together.
There are no happy endings; this was bound to happen sooner or later, but somehow it is always too soon.
From one grieving widower to another.
My heartfelt sympathy
Lawrence

Jun 10, 2014
I though I could not cry
by: Doreen UK

Albert I am sorry for your loss of your wife. It is so hard to carry on living without our mate especially as one gets older. It is near impossible to re-structure one's life. We get set in our ways and even change is hard. You had a long life together and a good long life which is a Blessing. I am sure your 5 children will look out and care for you. My father's name is albert and he had 6 children. 5 girls and one boy. He is still alive at 93yrs. of age at the end of the month. He unfortunately lives in a care home. What quality of life is this?
I lost my husband of 44yrs. to cancer 2yrs. ago. I was his carer and it was a tough cancer journey. All alone now and waiting to join him. Today is his birthday. Can't celebrate it but thank God I can still honour this day when it comes because it is still his birth day despite him not being here. I hope life treats you well and that you can live out your remaining days with your children and hopefully be cared for so you don't feel so alone.

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