I thought I was ready to say goodbye...

by Colby

In 2010 my grandma was diagnosed with Multiple Myloma cancer. I was so scared because my other grandma had just died. I was only 11 then. Then in February 2011 that same grandma got blood clots in her leg and almost died. I was definetly not ready for her to leave. Then on Thanksgiving 2011 my grandma was having pain in her leg. It turned out that her cancer was back. She had to get a rod put in her leg later that week. Then in May 2012 she wasn't feeling good so my grandpa took her into the hospital. She was in for 35 days straight. She was back in in less than a week. It was like that up until the day she went into hospice. In for a week out for a week it was so scary! Then when it finally came her time, i told myself and her that it was ok I was ready. But when the burial finally came, I balled like a little baby. And now I am not myself I don't know if it's depression. But I really did think I was ready. I guess not.

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Mar 17, 2013
I thought I was ready to say goodbye....
by: Doreen U.K.

Colby because you are so young your grandma's death is causing you deep grief which can turn into depression. No matter how young you are you can go for some grief counselling. You will be supported and helped to work out your grief so it is less painful. None of us are ready to let our loved one's go. It is a very painful experience for an adult and worse for a child because their understanding and maturity level is different and they cannot process loss with an adult outlook because they are little people with needs that still need nurturing.
In counselling you will be able to resolve your loss of your grandma and you can say goodbye in this setting that will make you feel better. You can also keep a journal and write out all your feelings to your grandma in this journal. Write letters and tell her how much she meant to you, and how you miss her and how it is affecting you.
In time you will start to heal from this pain of grief, but you need help to get there.

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