I want my brother

by Kyra
(Oregon, USA)

In March of 1989, 11 years before I was born, my mom and dad had a baby named Kurt. He died a little after he was born. After that, in 1990, they had my oldest sister Janelle (who is now married and has the cutest baby on the planet, I'm so proud of her) and in 1995 they had my sister Dana, who has been accepted at 2 art schools already and has a 3.85 GPA. I'm so proud of her too. And then in 1999, they had me. I'm 13 years old now.

I think about him a lot now. A few months ago, we took a family trip to Utah to visit my sister and her baby and husband. They live in the same city as my grandparents, who live right next to Kurt's grave. We took a trip to his grave, it was my first time seeing it since I was around 4 years old. I know my parents seemed sort of sad about it, and Dana was too, but I couldn't stop crying.

After that visit, I occasionally would start crying right before I fell asleep because I was thinking about how long it will be until I get to see him in heaven.

When I was around 11 years old, I would sometimes have dreams about talking to Kurt or going to his funeral. I would wake up screaming and crying.

Comments for I want my brother

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Jan 11, 2013
I want my brother
by: Doreen U.K.

Kyra I am sorry for your loss of your baby brother who died suddenly after birth and who you didn't have a relationship with. You will have to grieve this loss. As you mature your feelings are coming alive and exploding within you and you are finding it very difficult moving on with your life. It would benefit you greatly going to see a counsellor as it would help you move forward better. The crying and hurt you are feeling is your grief coming to the surface and trying to be resolved. You have to feel the grief before you can be healed from this.
You have such a lovely family and you seem to be very proud of all of them and yet one is missing and you are grieving for your loss of your brother. A counsellor would be able to work at a deep level for you to be able to bring to the surface those hurt feelings you have stuffed down inside you and now trying to find expression. Don't worry too much about your crying. This is HEALTHY GRIEVING. I wish you comfort from your sorrow.

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