I want my dad back :(

by May Belle Manalad
(Philippines)


My dad passed away 2 weeks ago due to heart failure. I spent 17 days at ICU looking for him because I can feel that any day soon he will be gone. He was very weak but can still manage to crack jokes and tell stories about his childhood.

Almost everyday, he was holding my hands firmly and does not want to let it go. I was feeding him and taking good care of him. Even though there were nurses to look after him, I was making sure that I was also there to give him the best care he needs. I was his private nurse willing to do everything for him.

February 09 at around 10:00p, I was talking to him about random things, he even asked me to change the station of the radio as the song playing that time made him super sad. I did. I went out of his room to sleep for a while as I was a bit tired.

At around 1:00a of February 10, someone is shaking my body and was asking me to wake up. When I opened my eyes from sleep,I saw my brother and mom crying. I was clueless, I do not know how to react then my friend told me that my dad was gone.

I was shocked.I was just talking to him a few hours ago and now, they are telling me that he was gone????

I opened the door of the ICU to check if what they were telling me is true. Then..I saw dad..no life. I was crying so hard after I found his dead body. All the memories we have shared suddenly flashes back. His smile, his voice...everything about him.

To date, I still can't recover. I miss him a lot. Everyday for me is like a day without color. My life is full of sadness..I don't how to move on.

I want my dad back :(

Comments for I want my dad back :(

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Mar 03, 2013
It's been a month.... Still in shock He's Gone
by: Doreen U.K.

Angela E. I am sorry for your loss of your Dad. this will be the worst experience we will ever go through. Death Hurts. Like nothing we have ever experienced in life. Sure we go through a lot of pain and sorrow in life. But nothing like this. the pain explodes in us and there is no medication for this.
Your Dad died suddenly and the grief from a sudden death is more difficult. When I lost my husband to cancer 10 months ago. He died a slow death over 3yrs. 39 days. I had time to prepare for this. But I didn't. To me it felt like a sudden death. I was sitting by his bedside waiting for this miracle God gives to many. But death came and my world shattered into a thousand pieces. Had I not had some years in counselling grieving all my other losses in life, I wouldn't have coped so well. Better than I thought. But sometimes I am tempted to feel that the worst pain is still to come since I am so calm and accepting of my husband's death. But I take one day at a time. Some days the lonliness creeps up and being alone doesn't make sense when I could be spending the time with my husband. Just the simple things in life is what makes us happy. Being together. Sharing. And making new memories each day we live. But Death comes and I am dreading the next time I have to lose someone. I hope that you will be comforted in the days and months ahead and you will find Peace and happiness in life again.

Mar 03, 2013
It's Been A Month...Still In Shock He's Gone
by: Angella E.

Loss my dad a month ago today...and it hurts...I miss my dad and like you I want my dad back...but I know God took him for a reason. For what reason, I will never know. I love my daddy...got the call at 3:41am 2/3/13, rush to him and while he was in the ambulance he was passing and I didn't know that...they tried to revive him at the hospital and within an hour from the time I got the call my dad was gone. He passed with a smile on his face, so I know he is with God. Yet it hurts. I am an adult but I'm still his child and the little girl inside of me cries for my father. I miss his smile and his laughter. He was not a perfect man but he was my dad. My tears only God can understand. So sorry for both your losses my heart truly goes out for you both. It's not easy and I just started on my grief road...all I can do is ask God for strength for me to make it through everyday. I'm still in shock, I really am...he's gone just like that....and I can't get over how quickly he left this earth. I still have to hold on to God's unchanging hand and find peace in His bosom. God bless you both.

Feb 25, 2013
I want my dad back :(
by: Doreen U.K.

May Belle this is how we all feel. That initial state of panic and fear of missing your father's last moments and then the sadness of him gone. No time to say good bye. I personally couldn't say good bye to my husband. I don't regret it but I feel this same sadness and heartache of missing him. My 3 children lost their father this day. You will always need your father around but sadly when illness strikes it is very cruel to hold onto their life. The unselfish thing to do is to let them go. I held onto to my husband so hard that he was suffering. It was when I told God. "If you can't Heal Him then take him." God did. I was angry over time but then I knew it was God's will to take my husband home. I will never get over this loss. None of us will get over our loss. It is only in time that we will Heal from this loss and sorrow. I will get my husband back one day when Jesus comes back to earth for us as he promised. "Where I am going there you may be also." This is God's promise and I claim this. This is how I go on each day. With God and a Promise in my heart to see him again. NEW. HEALED. AND SAVED.

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