I was just 8

by Nefateria Lillian malisa wages
(Raleigh, north Carolina, united states)

I can't explain to you how sad i am. It was January, 2008. I was in second grade and my grandmother had to go to Texas to see someone. She wouldnt tell me who, so I just said tell them I said get better soon. It was a very unusual night, something didn't feel right. I went downstairs of my aunts house and heard her talking on the phone with someone. She looked at me and smiled and said,"yes. She's right here. Hold on. Neffi someone very special wants to talk to you." i looked at the phone, then slowly took it. I held the phone up to my ear and said; "hello?" the other voice on the end said, "hi pumpkin pie." I instantly knew it was my. Mommy. I jumped up and down! "mommy! Hi mommy! I miss you so much! Where are you? Can you visit This summer?" she laughed and said, "baby, I will come visit and then We can go to six flags okay?" I smiled and said, "ok mommy. I love you mommy. mwah." i gave the phone back to her and then they started talking again. I was so excited. My mommy was coming. I sat at the table and got some cookies. My aunt began crying and said, "ate you sure? Is there anything they can do?" I walked over and said, "what's wrong? What happened?" my aunt looked down at me and said, "sit down sweetie." I did as she said and waited. "when people die they go up to heaven with god right?" I nodded. "mommy went up to heaven with god." I began sobbing and my grandmother tried calming me down, but I was too upset.
I had to leave school for two months for my mothers funeral. I couldn't do it. None of us could. Every time we looked at her we just break Down and cry. I never even got to say goodbye and she never said i love you one last time. At the funeral, I couldn't even look at my mom. It was all too much, she was just sitting there, lifeless. I said, I love you mom and I hope you get to see me grow up. As I said this, the sun came out and shined brightly. I smiled as I knew why. At the after service, all the kids were playing hide n' seek and I ran by something and cut my finger pretty bad. My family freaked out and began caring for me instantly. I realized that they were going to be there for me no matter what. When I came back to school, I got balloons, letters, and a card signed by everyone, and a snow globe. A few years later, I am now in sixth grade and the memories are coming back. Recently Ive stopped eating, cutting myself, and to top it all off, my personality has been sucked from me. I need help, please help me.

Comments for I was just 8

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Mar 27, 2012
by: Roops

Hi.v sorry to hear ur pain.it surely is v v tough n what ur going thru now is natural. We all grieve in different ways and it is v imp to cry for n miss our loved ones. But pls try not to hurt urself physically in the process.I won't tell u stuff that ur mom is in a better place n u ll b with her one day , etc. I too lost my mom last year n honestly I want her with me now. The way v were. Happy n together. N u knw what, it's allright to feel that way.u don't have to feel guilty about missing ur mom or crying for her. U have a long life ahead so it's better to heal urself properly even though it mite take time. But rem, before doing anything wrong or harming urself in anyway, just pause n think how bad ur mom wud feel if she was infront of u.I do that u knw. Initially I did a whole lot of bad things hoping they ll eventually kill me n take me to mama. But then I started dreaming of her n she used to look v sad ESP the days I was doing all kinds of wrong stuff. Plus I live for my dad.I only hope we can get rid of the bad memories n rem better moments spent with them. U can share anything with me.pls kp heart n rem ur not alone. Take care n keep in touch.

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