I was not enough to live for

We met through our mutual best friend years ago, but became really close in the last 9 months. I have talked to him every day. Last night I stayed up talking to him until 2am. At 5:14am he texted me his suicide note. By noon it was confirmed that he had passed. I still do not know what he did. I just know that he was not at home. My mind is going crazy. He is the person i would have been talking to in a situation like this. I know it is not my fault, but I still feel that there are so many things I could have done differently. Looking back on it now, he was reaching out last night. But I went to bed because I had to work. I feel broken. I miss him so much already! Why couldn't I be enough to live for?
No one, friends or family knows details at this point. It's all classified. So many questions. I wish I had someone to talk to. Why did you leave me Hank? You meant more to me than I showed. I was a good friend, but if I told you how I felt would you have stayed for me? Rest in peace, I hope the suffering is over.

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