I Wasn't There
(Newmarket, ON, Canada)
On Mother's Day, May 11th 2014, after 29 days in the hospital, my larger then life father passed away from cardiac arrest. He was only 62 years old. He initially went to the hospital for a dibetic ulcer on his foot. After 12 days they moved him to ICU because his BP was extremely low... Next thing we know he's on dialysis... It all started happening so fast. Up to this point I was taking care of my dad alone. He lived with me for awhile, but just moved out to try independence.I called my family to inform them of the ICU move. My brother came for support. After a week he impressivly got better.No more dialysis, BP was good. The concern was lifted , he was placed back on a regular medical floor, awaiting leg amputation. I was there daily. Twice a day sometimes. The last time I seen my dad I rubbed his back until he fell asleep. I was the last person other then hospital staff to see him alive. The only day I wasn't there with him , and he goes. I was at my mom's for mothers day.It was sudden, unexpected.... Not the phone call I wanted. I hit the ground screaming , crying when the hospital called.My world came crashing down. I should have been there. The nurse said he talked about me all morning. How I was his "doll" and his reason for living. He was cleaning himself up that morning , preparing for my visit that evening. Its been 18 days since he left and its already felt like a life time. People have many different ideas on the subject of death. But I know that he's with me. He choose to be with my family in life and I have a strong feeling he's here even after death. Our bond can't be broken , no matter the distance. Daddy's girl for eternity.