I wish i can turn back the time and save my mother
my mother was 54 years old when she passed on ..her death was a very shocking news for me and my family ...my mother death was solely on my mistake for not staying at home and taking care of her. After celebrating my mom birthday , she was have excessive bleeding the next day until we took her to hospital and she was admitted for two days. after inserting two bottles of blood and all the check up done on her , the doctor discharge her from hospital and she was allowed to go back. When she was at home , we took care of her and she recovered well.She ate all her favorite food and also was doing well. However, she was not as before when she stop to cook for us almost one month and communicate less with us. We was thinking that she needed rest and most of the time we let her rest. Suddenly one day she said her stomach is paining and we took her to hospital. after spending whole day in hospital, the doctor said she is AL-right and just has infection in urine and get her discharge after giving the medication. Two days after she was discharge she passed away at home when we was not with her . The day morning before she passed away , i never saw her . i was rushing to work until neglect to meet her ..two days before my mum away , i was working an my brother was taking care of her ..she refuse to eat the two days and only when i come back i will make tea for her ... the night before she passed away i feed her juice and apply medicine for her leg but was not manage to sit and talk with her and ask how is she doing ..i saw she was so weak but never have the though that she is going to leave us so soon ..all the while i was thinking that my mother become like this because she never eats well. Today i lost my mum because of my carelessness and because of not seeing her on that day morning . im sure if i saw her sure i have save her ...i am a useless daughter for my mom ..my mom worked so hard to make us study and she sacrifice her life for us but as her daughter i never took good care of her . after she passed on, my brother told me that she was very weak during the two days and when i ask him why he never informed that to us and family he said he think we know about it and it was fate for her to die ..when i listen to it , my heart pain a lot an i feel like shouting an cry how careless i could be ..why i never notice such thing from my mom ..how can i be so careless in handling my mother ..why i never stay with her the two days so that i could realize all this and save her... i never blame my brother for my mother death but blame myself.as a daughter my mother trust me so much and how can i be so careless and never take care of her ..all said is fated for her but for me its solely my mistake for not spending time and taking good care of her.. the worst part is until today im still wondering what is the cause of my mother death and what makes her so weak until she end up like this ...the worst is even whatever it is ..its too late now where i already lost my mum ..trust me the guilt and pain i feel now is unbearable ...i really seek for forgiveness from my mom ...i feel that i have kill my mom and because of me my mom has died ...