I wish I had that six days
My mum had a close shave earlier this year and we were to be prepared for the worst. But she pulled through albeit much weakened. Living in a different state, I planned trips back home lasting two days to a week so I could help take care of her.
At first, it was staying over at the hospital but as she got better, it was keeping her company at home. But this meant less frequent trip due to my work as well. I thought I still have time.
My next trip was to be Sept 14th for six days and I was going to make sure she ate better and spoil her. But just one day before, my sister called to say her condition worsened and I went back then. It was heartbreaking to see her so frail, unresponsive although still conscious. The whole family stayed at the hospital but just before three pm on the 14th, my mum passed.
I know it takes time but I feel really sad and angry and distraught about not being able to get that six days with her. Instead of talking with her and cooking for her, we prepared for her wake and funeral. I cry and think why didn't I go back a week earlier? I am sad that while I had time, I did not use it well and took her shopping. I made do with phone calls after work.
It is not that I think I could have prevented her passing, but I could have been with her more. I know I can't change anything and life goes on... but I so want to have been able to take care of her for that six days... I miss her so very much.