I wish i told my dad "thank you"
My dad passed away on 23rd of December 2011. I didn't believe he was gone, still can't. he was a loving father, but i wasn't very nice to him, he liked to drink and when ever he does i lose temper and tell the worst words to him... i regret so much for it... and i wish i told him thank you at least once when he was alive. i remember him always tell me that he loves me, and kisses me, but i always blamed him for the divorce and financial issues we had... now i wish that i can give my everything to turn back that time and tell him how i am proud and grateful to have such a loving father. i wish he had enjoyed to seeing the amazing things this world has before he goes. I couldn't forget the last time i saw my dad, he looked pale and i kissed his cold cheek and begged him to get up, not to leave me as many times i could... my heart was breaking to see and hear my brothers cry... it was the worst day of my life, i have never knew how unfair and hard this world is until that day. Still day and night last image of my dad haunts me, i think it over and over again, wondering if I called him that day or took him to the hospital when he said his leg feels numb he would've been alive. I hate my self not making time for my family, busy taking care of others(i work for humanitarian organization).
I often wonder how my dad would look if he reached 70years old(he was only 53y), or how he would respond to take me to the altar on my wedding day... or to see his grand kids... i will never know and share those moments with him. I still ask God why He had to take my dad, before even I wasn't sure if he believed in Jesus or not... when i prayed so many years for his salvation, How i wish it was only a dream, just a nightmare to wake up to find my dad alive... before you asked me to come many times but now i want to go to your house when you are not there. I love you my dad and missing you too much but above all this Thank you for enduring those many difficult years that you faced in order to feed and raise your kids daddy!