I'm Lost!

by Pat

Four and a half months ago, I lost the love of my life VERY suddenly (he was only 60, as am I). He had health issues but nothing that should have him die! The worst part is is that I found him in his chair! We were together almost 20 years (we never married but lived together) and we had no children. I am sooo lost, I don't know what to do.

My sister was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and I had no emotions which bothers me. Fortunately, she found it early and has a great prognosis. I am void of emotions except my own loss and she doesn't understand why I am emotionless....is this normal? All I can think about is him.

I went back to work a week after his death just to get out of the house and it has helped but every time I think of him, I cry! I started grief counseling but it was a group and most of the people had lost parents, siblings, friends and I don't think they understand what it's like to lose a partner/spouse. The holidays are fast approaching and I'm dreading them!!

Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.