I'm Lost!

by Pat

Four and a half months ago, I lost the love of my life VERY suddenly (he was only 60, as am I). He had health issues but nothing that should have him die! The worst part is is that I found him in his chair! We were together almost 20 years (we never married but lived together) and we had no children. I am sooo lost, I don't know what to do.

My sister was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and I had no emotions which bothers me. Fortunately, she found it early and has a great prognosis. I am void of emotions except my own loss and she doesn't understand why I am emotionless....is this normal? All I can think about is him.

I went back to work a week after his death just to get out of the house and it has helped but every time I think of him, I cry! I started grief counseling but it was a group and most of the people had lost parents, siblings, friends and I don't think they understand what it's like to lose a partner/spouse. The holidays are fast approaching and I'm dreading them!!

Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.

Comments for I'm Lost!

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Nov 16, 2011
Your Not Lost
by: Patricia from Las Vegas

I remember when my Billy left me. It wasn't sick enough for him to go but I guess I wasn't my choice to make like you. Billy and I were together for 10 years. I went back to work after a week off and I understand the crying. I could be sitting there working and the next be in tears. I'm at 1 year 4 months and I have good days and bad. So will you. At this point all you'll feel is pain and despair ~ it's normal. I thought I was going crazy and at time's, late in the night, alone and can't sleep I'm back to missing him so much. Night time's are the hardest. But it doesn't get better, really it doesn't feel like it but it will. I working on my second set of holidays and its still hard. Have faith ~ we all walk this difficult road, pitfalls, holes and rocks that hurt our souls as we walk. Just always remember you don't walk alone...
Were always here to listen....
1 step, 1 breath at a time ~ 1 year, 4 months

Nov 15, 2011
by: M Mack


It takes a lot of time to go through the grieving process. I know how you feel all too well. It is 14 months for me since I lost the love of my life and soulmate. We did everything together and when he passed, I thought I'd never survive the pain. I can tell you that although you feel emotionless, you are crying out for help to find yourself a place of comfort from the sadness. This grief is very confusing and after the 1st stage it changed from numb to blank stares and a lot of sadness.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You are not the same person you used to be so if you feel you are not supportive for your sister, its because you can't even help yourself right now. Take it one day at a time and don't rush into anything. You need to take care of you and I know thats a tall order.

I so glad you are writing and hopefully reading the many stories of all those that lost someone they love. Come here as often as you need to. There are many wonderful caring people on this site and they hear and feel what you are going through. Remember, you are not alone and we are here for support. Prayers and hugs as you travel this long road with all of us.

Nov 15, 2011
Find a Griefshare group
by: Kelly

I lost my son last year and I'm hurting but I am better than 6 months ago. It does get better. There is a program called Griefshare. It is wonderful and will help you. You can find them on the internet for messages, books, and other resources. Please check with your local churches, hopefully one will be doing a study on grief. It has saved me. I'm very heart broken but I am looking to get better. Grief is an up and down and all around trip and we all are looking to get better. I hope you will. kelly

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