I'm not ok without you

by lost

I see your face in my mind,
Your beautiful blue eyes...

I remember your smile
Your charm.
I can taste your skin and feel your warmth

I miss you but I remember you so vividly.

Some days when I lose control I look at pictures or watch a video of you and it makes you real again.
How do I live without you, I feel dead I feel so far gone, not myself. Its been 8 months and I cry myself to sleep every night

I miss you baby, I wasn't ready for goodybye...

Comments for I'm not ok without you

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Sep 26, 2012
I'm not OK without you
by: silver

I know what you mean. For some reason I felt the even though my husband had emphysema that we still had many more years together. After awhile I began to think "Why did you leave me here alone." then I thought--what did I think? that we were going to die at the same instant? It's been almost 16 months now and I still cry some every day. I'm not alone in this,I have found out from this site.Some were only blessed with a few yrs and some,like me,quite a few.Enough to have and raise kids to adulthood. My darling husband was blessed to live long enough to see a great-grandchild.Do I miss him? Sometimes more than I can bear.Do I want him back--absolutely.I sometimes don't know how I will get up the next day or why I don't stay in bed all day doing nothing. My arms and my heart ache all the time.What keeps me going? Mostly my faith in GOD.Secondly my parents died withing 7 months of each other(10 months before my husband died) and I didn't want to have that happen to my children. After about 10 months I thought I was handling things better and a certain day set it off again. As my love was want to say,"You don't ever forget.You never get over it.You just learn how to live with it." Without GOD's love and giving me strength I wouldn't have made it this far. There are still days I don't want to get up or to go anywhere.Sometimes it's hard to just do the dishes or the laundry.Luckily,my children are grown and have families of their own.Maybe not so lucky either as I would have to go on to take care of them.I don't know which is better.In the meantime please take care of yourself and keep going.I am working on that also. GOD bless you and give you strength

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