im so lonely

by shug

my mother who was diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma,has passed on march 31 at has only been two weeks, and i still cant believe shes gone.i have her ashes,but i havent looked at the urn since i put it on the shelf.i feel like no one understands me.they tell me she in a better place, and i know that,but,i have been her cargiver since day one,and tommorow my aunt will be going back home and i havent been in the house alone in two husabnd will be at work,im afraid to be alone with my greif,since i really havent cried too much.i feellike part of my life is over.i have all this time with nothing to do it seems.she was only 52 and her birthday is coming up in may.i feel like ive been abandoned,i dont know what to do.why did she have to leave me?im the oldest of 3 girls, yet i feel like im a baby,i know it sounds heart aches for her,i love my mama,i belive in God and His son Jesus,but why do i feel like they took the wrong parent,i mean my dad was the mean sprited one.i feel ashamed talking like this considering im 30 and not a child.

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Apr 20, 2012
thank you
by: shug

anyone who leaves a comment,thank you,sometimes the only way to help ease the hurt is to share it with someone,particularly like minded lil better than i was a few days ago when i shared my story,God knows it still hurts,but it helps knowing someone cares,and thsnk you for sharing your stories with me!

Apr 18, 2012
feeling the same
by: Anonymous


i am in the same situation. I am 31 years old and lost my mom in Jan 19th 2012 out of the sudden from a heart attack. I could not have a word with her, not my sister nor my father… I still feel lost without her even though tomorrow would be 3 months that she is gone. she was my everything and I still think that God took the wrong parent… thinking this does not have to do with our age… it has to do with the connection we had with our mother and the way our father has been toward us…if God would ask me for a choice I would choose my dad to be gone without any doubt… but no one asked, not one told us that your mom should not be taken for granted and should be told her everyday thank you and I love you…I say these words know every minute of the day but they seem meaningless…
hope for both of us these feelings ease with time…

Apr 16, 2012
by: Anonymous

I lost my boy,Jan.4th 2011,and it's with me everyday,the pain the hurt.I miss him so much and to never see him again is breaking my heart.His birthday is in May almost on mothers day and my whole being aches for him. How am I going to go on.Life without him is unbearable I have no other children I am alone.How on earth have other people who have lost go on.I'm not that strong.

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