I'm so lost without you

by Cortney

Me and my Dad on our last vacation together.

Me and my Dad on our last vacation together.

My dad had been telling us he had less than a year to live and my mom and I blew it off like it was nothing. We didn’t think he was really sick. He had COPD very bad. We found this out in November of 2012. In early April of 2013 he convinced us to go on a vacation, just the 3 of us (I’m an only child.) It was the best trip of my life. But what we didn’t realize is that it was the last one with the 3 of us. In June of 2013, I was at work when I got a call saying that he was being rushed to the ER because he couldn’t breathe. When I got there I found out that he’d gone into cardiac arrest for 9 minutes, but they revived him. But what we didn’t know is that our lives would never be the same after that. He never came out of the sedation. He was in a coma from June to September. Things were looking better. The nurses said he was in better health than when he came in. The morning of Tuesday, September 24, 2013, we were not expecting the phone call that we received. I lost my hero that morning at 10:40 am. Exactly 3 weeks and 3 minutes after I had lost my grandmother who meant so much to me. I feel so lost and empty inside. I’m still so shocked. On our vacation he was so happy and looked really healthy. I don’t understand.

Comments for I'm so lost without you

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Nov 11, 2013
Thank you
by: Cortney

That is exactly how I feel. I just don't understand. And that makes me so depressed.

Nov 10, 2013
Dear Cortney,
by: Anonymous

I am sorry to read about your father. I am also an only child, and I also lost my father. He suffered Sudden Cardiac Arrest in January, and by the time my mother and I got to the ER, he was gone. Even though I am marrried and have children, I was still a Daddy's girl. Like you, I went away for a few days with my parents last year. We went to a wedding and my husband and children stayed home. It was the last time that the three of were together, and we had a great time. I have a picture of me dancing with my father. I don't understand what happened. He was fine one day and gone the next. My parents were together almost 50 years.....my mother will never be the same. I have so many emotions: anger, sadness, loneliness, fear, uncertainty, doubt, guilt. But I know that my father is with me, and that one day we will all be together again. I hope you continue to visit this website. It has really helped me and everybody here understands what you are going through and understands your feelings. Take care of yourself, and take your time. I wish you comfort and peace as you begin to heal. Barb

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