I'm stunned still...... Is it real?
My dad was feeling burning when he ate last year and didn't tell us for a few weeks, he also used to spray paint little trains he made without a mask and I'm angry with him also forthat. We found out after a second opinion because the first doctor said nothing was wrong that dad had pancreatic cancer, I remember rushing over to his house as I couldn't wait for the diagnosis by phone, when I got there I knew. I remember everything the jumper the look on his face, a year he said, he had hope , I was devastated, it was my birthday it was the most crushing feeling I ever had. He didn't see it as us losing him he saw it as him losing us. Six weeks later I was called to the hospital , I walked into the room to see this shell of a man struggling to breathe and I broke down. Six weeks? We were told a year...what? I hadn't even got around the cancer let alone losing him, I looked at him and said I love you and he took his mask off and said the same. Five minutes later I held his hand and kissed it and he slipped away. Worst thing is that I walked out of the hospital and saw that life was just going on whilst mine had crumbled,
My poor dad so,wanted to live and he didn't deserve to die after seven months I'm still in denial, shock and anger. I don't know when it will clear. But one thing I will always be defiant that was he fought it with bravery and fortitude and I am gutted he will never be there to walk me up the aisle. My father was ace. And I've lost my role model.
I just don't know what to do right now.