I'm the only one left

by Shawna
(Ohio )

Well everything started going down hill June 19th 2010. My mom had a head on collision that put her in the hospital for 6 month. A few days after her wreck while in ICU she had a major heart attack, ended up being on a ventilator and after a while had to have a trache put in. Well they couldn't get her off the ventilator so she had go to a hospital where the main thing is to wean pt. off of ventilator but she could only stay there 30 days and had to be moved to a skilled nursing facility that could help her get off of it. Well while there she had complications ended up in another hospital, then sent somewhere else to help her with ventilator. Finally they got her off of it. She got to finally come home. After 2 wks she was having a lot of trouble breathing I took her to the doctor and she ended up back in hospital with scaring from the trache blocking her airways. So she was sent to different hospital to fix the scarring. We almost lost her then but the drs saved her. From there she ended up having kidney failure and being put on dialysis. She had 8 different tubes, IV's coming out of her it was pitiful. Bless her heart no one deserves to go through so much suffering. After that we almost lost her 2 more times till Dec. 21,2010 and she was gone. And I want to mention that during that 6 month me and my brother drove to whatever hospital she was in so she wouldn't feel alone. And earlier the morning she died my brother had to have her dog put to sleep for stomach cancer.
My dad had lung cancer and 2 months after mom died he started getting really sick so me and my brother had to take care of him. It's so sad to watch someone you love wither down to almost a child. It was only me and my brother no other family members offered to help us with him. My brothers blood pressure was sky high and complaining of heartburn all the time. We put dad in hospice care just to take a little break from the stress of caring for him. Well he never made it home he passed away June 14th 2011.
My brother had lived with mom and dad never moved out, I know the house felt lonely and he felt lost. So in Aug me and my family moved just 5 min from him , he needed someone close for him. On Oct. 24,2011 he had a massive heart attack and I lost him too. My whole family within 10 months of each other. I don't know why they had to be gone so fast. I cry everyday and I miss them so much. I sleep with moms shirt and pray that they'll just come talk to me and let me know there all together and doing ok.
I'm so hurt, mad and confused. No one in my family has called me and my best friend deserted me. People can really let you down. SoI'm left with a bad attitude. Wonder why?

Comments for I'm the only one left

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Nov 03, 2012
I'm the only one left
by: silver

Although I have 2 brothers,2 sisters,4children,and grandchildren as well as one great-grandchild,I feel sometimes as if I am in your place. My older brother lives in a home for mentally retarded adults and I am his sponsor. I go see him when I can but I live on Social Security and it's only about 3-4x a year.He is only about 6 mentally. My other siblings live 3 states away and I only get to talk to them if I call them. They almost never call me.One of my children lives on the east coast and if he is able I see him 1 or 2x a year.My other kids work full time and I don't see them much.That means I don't get to see my grandchildren much. Those three live within 20 miles of me.One of them says they are going to move to Florida and one says he is moving to Arizona.That will leave my youngest here. My baby sister,I was close to,died in Nov 2001.My father died Dec 2009.My best friend of 28 yrs died May 2010.My mom died June 2010 and my husband died May 2011.My "friends" at work don't call me since I retired.I have no other friends except those at church.They call once in awhile but not often.So you see,I feel alone also.My kids won't even be here for Thanksgiving.OH...I can go to their house but how do I split up one holiday into 4 pieces,esp the one 3 states away.I pray each day for GOD's strength for one more day.I cry often.I am in grief counseling.I write poetry sometimes.I sometimes write in a journal.I force myself to accomplish at least 2 things each day.I send love to all of you and keep you in my prayers.We all need strength.Grief takes time. My darling husband used to say(his mother died the yr before we got married)that it never goes away but you learn how to live with it.I don't know how you or others feel about GOD,but I feel strongly and I couldn't go on if I didn't feel that I would hold my loved ones in my arms again someday.GOD bless you all

Oct 24, 2012
I'm the only one left
by: Doreen UK

Shawna, Christina, and Anonymous I empathize with all of you feeling abandoned by your family at a time when you need their support. It HURTS It is not what you expect from family or friends. Often our grief could act as a trigger for someone else and they can't handle this so they avoid us and we are left wondering what we did or said to have to endure such bad behaviour.
Shawna I am so sorry for all the losses in our life in such a short space of time.
You would greatly benefit from seeing a grief counsellor especially going through multiple losses. It is so CRUEL TO lose so many family members at one time. You would need to grieve each loss separately so that it doesn't affect the rest of your life.

Oct 23, 2012
You Are Not Alone
by: Christina

My heart breaks for you as I read your story. I recently posted a story about my husband called My Husband My Soulmate Forever and Ever. I truly do understand what you are going through. My husband died almost 8 months ago, my mother is dieing and on hospice now, my brother just had a stroke, and some creature 3 weeks ago came into my yard and killed my beloved dog. I cry everyday also, I know how deep your heart hurts. It is OK to be mad, it is part of the process. It is OK to not have clarity, your life has been altered in a huge way. It truly does take time, and sometimes time feels like your worst enemy. It hurts that others are going about their own life and it seems as if they are not paralized in pain as you are. You yearn to be back to a place that isn't consumed with pain and grief, but you have no idea how to get there, and you wonder if you will ever feel normal again. One minute you are fine the next minute you are a mess. I know, and I understand. You must try, try with all you've got to hang onto that thread of hope. I cry out to God, I know he understands me and forgives my anger. We all must die someday, it is everyones journey. I believe it's what we do on this side of God's kingdom that determines if we will make it to the heavenly side of God's kingdom. And it is there where you will never feel pain again, and you will be with your loved ones forevermore. But it must be on God's terms, he has a job for you to do here, maybe it isn't the one we thought we would have, but he knows where he can put you, to allow you to be the one who helps someone else with a broken heart realize that even in our darkest hour you are not alone and life is worth living. I am sorry you have had to go through so much in such a short time. It is a lot and you are a living testimony to others that will someday lose a loved one or several loved ones, that life does go on all be it different, it can find purpose again. I am still working on that, I ask God for strength because I feel I don't have any on my own, and slowly, ever so slowly he is giving it to me. I must be willing to receive it in what ever shape or form it comes in. A beautiful day, a bird singing a beautiful song, a child at play. For me it started with me noticing once again the simple things. My mother will pass soon and perhaps my brother also, I am praying all the time that God grants me the strength to deal with it when the time comes. It is in silent meditation with God that I feel his love. I hope I have been of some help. I will pray for you, I sincerely will.....

Oct 22, 2012
so sorry...
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your losses. My mom recently passed away and now my Dad had to be moved to a Nursing Home as we are unable to take care of him any longer. I too am disappointed in friends and family since all of this has happened. Unfortunately (or fortunately)it is in times of loss that we truly see the character of our friends and family and feel abandoned in our time of greatest need.
My boyfriend of many years could not handle me being so sad all of the time because it reminded him of losing his Dad a few years ago, so he left me. My close cousin that I grew up with tried to scam my brother and I with the sale of our parent's home to make some money for himself. Not just once, but three times! Two of my aunts were more concerned about how much it cost to put my Dad in the home, that they called the home to find out how much it was per month. They have never called or visited my Dad since he has been there, or called my brother and I to see how we are doing. If I am sad at work after holidays etc, everyone will go to great lengths to avoid me.
It is sad that people are so uncomfortable with death and greiving that they just run away when their loved ones need love and support the most.

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